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5 Bumps

Am I being selfish??? (sahm question)

DH is probably one of the messiest men on the planet, he's not outright nasty but he definatly doesnt clean up after himself in the least. I spend all day cleaning up and as soon as he walks in the door it's like a tornado ripped through our house and I have to start all over again lol I'm 6 months preggo and taking care of a 4 yr old, I don't have the energy to clean the same thing over and over again lol.
One of my biggest issues is how he keeps our bathroom, and this has actually caused some arguments, he does things like shave his head and beard and just leave the hair wherever it falls, he's prematurely grey and so the part of his beard that he keeps he dyes and the dye gets everywhere and he just leaves it, he might miss the toilet and he'll just walk away, I don't like things on the counters and he doesnt like having to get his things from under the cabinet so we argue about that...things like that. So eventually I "gave" him the guest bathroom as his own and I've let him do with it whatever he wants...the outcome? it is now filthy, nasty...thank God we don't entertain now he's complaining about how bad his bathroom is and he wants me to clean it....I DO NOT want and our daughter dont even go in there so all the mess is his alone.
My question: Being a stay at home mom, is it my "duty" to just suck it up and clean the bathroom or am I justified in making him clean up after himself??? No bashing please


Asked by Lucky209 at 5:17 PM on Mar. 9, 2011 in Relationships

Level 28 (35,060 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (27)
  • I'm a SAHM too and it is my "duty" to keep a clean house but... IF my husband leaves a nasty mess like beard trimmings or whatever I march him into the area (like a child) show him the mess and tell him to clean it. He has learned that any clothes on the floor will not get washed and any mess that I deem is "his" (like hair stubble) will not get cleaned up.

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 5:20 PM on Mar. 9, 2011

  • I think that if you've given him his own bathroom, it should be his responsibility to keep it clean. Because he's the one who uses it, it is obviously ONLY his mess.

    Answer by evwsquared at 5:19 PM on Mar. 9, 2011

  • NO. It's not your job to be his MAID...

    Answer by CABlonde at 5:23 PM on Mar. 9, 2011

  • I totally wouldn't ! This was your whole point, for him to be in his own mess. Maybe after he cleans it he will keep it clean.

    Answer by Andriya at 5:19 PM on Mar. 9, 2011

  • It's his responsibility because he is the only one making the mess. You are pregnant so he should be giving you a break anyway.

    Answer by at 5:22 PM on Mar. 9, 2011

  • Id go buy him the stuff to clean with and give him a step by step instructions and walk away.

    Answer by gemgem at 5:23 PM on Mar. 9, 2011

  • I wouldn't clean it if it's his bathroom.

    Answer by admckenzie at 5:25 PM on Mar. 9, 2011

  • He is a big boy. When my 5 year old pees all over the seat, I will make him clean it up. Your grown DH can clean up his own mess.

    Answer by krissyvelazquez at 6:00 PM on Mar. 9, 2011

  • It doesn't matter if he works outside the home. If he lived alone he'd still have to cme pay his bills and clean up after himself he's not a child. Its your job to clean up basics cook take care of children not for him to cme hme and not do basic things like hunny i gotta go pee can u cme in here lift up the toliet seat hold my package direct it at the toliet for me? seriouly he can not make a disaster whn he's in this bathroom. My husband works frm 5am till smtmes 10pm and he's never made an excessive mess he even rinses the sink out whn he brushes and shaves. I don't ask him to help me clean the house or cook cuz thts my job or duty, but every once in awhile he will decide he wants to cook smething he will wash whtever he uses tells me i work just as hard as he does. Just cuz we stay hme doesn't mean we lay dwn watch tv all day eating candy.

    Answer by msboerschinger at 6:14 PM on Mar. 9, 2011

  • If he wants it clean he better clean it I know I wouldn't especially if its his

    Answer by buttonlts at 5:19 PM on Mar. 9, 2011