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Ah the joys of being a stepmom.

So when my husband and i married his daughter was 3 Bio mom totally out of the picture and had been since she was 1, now 7 she has recently been visiting with her on Fridays and some Sundays.

Now SD brings home things from school she wants to give them to her to keep, I totally cried when one of the things was a MOM valentine. I try to stay tough because she is just being sweet (she always is) but it breaks my heart and I know there is more to come. How would you react?

Answer Question
 
Andriya

Asked by Andriya at 5:25 PM on Mar. 9, 2011 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 13 (1,200 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • Well I can only tell you how my best friend has reacted. She has been SM to her dhs two dds from a previous marriage for 10 yrs & like you mom wasnt around (this one was on drugs, cps took the kids while her dh was out of town mom had left them alone for days). Well now moms back & my friend feels totally put aside and it hurt her for a long time. Now she just says she knows that their mom, shes happy she is back for them. She shes even though it stings she knows in the long run this is what the girls need & they know my friend will ALWAYS love them and be there for them, but for now she is just kinda put to the side and she is fine with it.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 5:31 PM on Mar. 9, 2011

  • aww....I'm sorry! That must be really difficult!! Does she call you mom? She still loves you, don't worry!!!!! You'll just have to remind yourself of that and be supportive... she is young and doesn't realize how this would make you feel.
    CollinsMommy729

    Answer by CollinsMommy729 at 5:35 PM on Mar. 9, 2011

  • It is hard, but that is her mom and she is trying hard to have a relationship with her. Even though it hurts, you need to encourage it. She loves you and always will, but she needs to find out what her mom is like for herself. If things fall apart with bio mom again, help your SD pick up the pieces. Yes, this might go on for a long time, but you being there for her will mean the world to her. Being a step mom is a hard job because of things like this. I've been there and I know, but I also know that those two boys turned into wonderful men because of me and pretty much everyone else knows it too.
    layh41407

    Answer by layh41407 at 5:47 PM on Mar. 9, 2011

  • Just be there for her and you will develop a bond..
    KTMOM

    Answer by KTMOM at 11:25 PM on Mar. 11, 2011

  • Just hang in there. If Mom has straightened her life out, it will be good for her to have this relationship. If she hasn't, it will end soon anyway. Whatever happens, remember she still loves you too.
    elasmimi

    Answer by elasmimi at 5:47 PM on Mar. 20, 2011

  • =\ Be strong.
    chiquis

    Answer by chiquis at 3:40 AM on Mar. 22, 2011

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