Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

Am i completely wrong here??

my husband and i recently became legal guardians of my 16 yr old brother in law. we live in a 2 bdrm apartment so hes sleeping on the couch until we move into a house in august. my son from a previous relationship lives with us as well, hes 3. sometimes my husband has no respct for the fact that we have a child. now today he says to me "taylors gonna be bringing girls home like crazy" and laughs. now am i wrong to not want girls in my house while my son lives here and let my brother in law have sex with girls on our couch? am i totally naurotic or is he just an asshole?!

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 6:10 PM on Mar. 9, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (16)
  • brother-in-law or not he is 16 and should not be having sex especially on your couch! that is disgusting

    Answer by newlife627 at 6:12 PM on Mar. 9, 2011

  • i would have said "That will not be happening in my house" I'd let him know now. If my son had a steady girlfriend, i would not mind him bringing her over for dinner. But, "a bunch of girls" yeah right.....

    Answer by samurai_chica at 6:12 PM on Mar. 9, 2011

  • I would give the teen the bedroom and put the little one in your room. The teen needs privacy. Not necessarily for girls and sex but for general principal. A three yr old doesn't need his own room

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:12 PM on Mar. 9, 2011

  • i think that boundaries need to be set... that your husband needs to understand that while hes living with you there needs to be a set of standards.. as in maybe he can only bring girls over when theyre supervised or no girls in general.. hecant be having sex on a couch where your 3 yr old watches blues clues.. .you both need to understand the other like you need to understand that theres now a 16yr old manchild who has girlfriends and he needs to understand that you have a small impressionable child in the house... rules and boundaries need to be set

    Answer by zperez0809 at 6:13 PM on Mar. 9, 2011

  • Wouldn't be happening if he was staying on my couch.

    Answer by tiddliwinks at 6:14 PM on Mar. 9, 2011

  • No! You are NOT wrong! The kid is 16, for crying out loud, and he should NOT be bringing home girls or having sex on your couch! Yuck! I'd lay down the law and tell them how it's going to be. Talk to your DH first, of course, and let him know that you're not going to allow it because you are not comfortable. Good grief!

    Answer by lovingmy4babies at 6:16 PM on Mar. 9, 2011

  • I can not say who is right or wrong.. I can just share how I think (or would like to think) that I would handle that situation.

    If my husband and I became guardians of his 16 year old brother. We would in essence be taking on the role of his parents. Therefore, my husband and I would need to sit down together and set ground rules regarding dating/bringing girls home. I would hope that we would agree on the same ground rules and have the same expectations set that we would set with our own son once he reached that age.

    Answer by pixie_trix at 6:16 PM on Mar. 9, 2011

  • I would sit down with your husband and the 16 year old and work out functioning house rules. Make a few compromises, but at 16 he's old enough to do this with you. If you do it at/to him he will try to break the house rules.


    Answer by Rosehawk at 6:17 PM on Mar. 9, 2011

  • that is just nasty. i dont even have sex on my couch so ill be damned if anyone else would/could. that is just disrespectful to you and ur 3yr old. i would set boundaries asap. the 16 needs a parent not a friend cause he has enough of those. what if he gets one of them pregnant then it wont be all fun and games. sorry but ur dh is just an idiot if he allows that kind of stuff to happen, whether it be in your house or else where.

    Answer by gothmama91 at 6:33 PM on Mar. 9, 2011

  • Anon commented that a 3yr old doesnt need his own room....ummmm why not??? When are you and hubby supposed to have adult time together if your sharing your room with a very alert 3 yr old ? Anyways back to your original question. HELL NO he doesnt need to be bringing a bunch of girls into your home! WTH??? He's 16, he's not an adult. You and your man should sit down together and come up with some household rules that both of you are comfortable with then lay down the law to the 16 yr live there too honey, no reason to let a 16 yr old dictate what happens in your house. Good luck mama....It may be asking alot but can you keep us updated? lol I would love to know how everything turns out. =)

    Answer by Lucky209 at 6:34 PM on Mar. 9, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.