Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

4 Bumps

How do I deal with my daughters controlling boyfriend?

She sees it and knows the relationship is unhealthy but will not let go? What can I do?

Answer Question
 
Fostermomto16

Asked by Fostermomto16 at 8:51 PM on Mar. 9, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

Level 3 (21 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • Talk to her about. Usually in only gets worse.
    LittleBirdFly

    Answer by LittleBirdFly at 8:53 PM on Mar. 9, 2011

  • Sit down and talk to her about it! Its her descision, but make sure that she knows you want to keep her safe
    janieishappy

    Answer by janieishappy at 8:53 PM on Mar. 9, 2011

  • Help her build her self esteem so she can get away. If you see any abuse, get her away. If you push too hard, she will just dig her heels in that much more. Be there for her when she needs you. Limit her time with him alone, make sure they are hanging out at your house more than anything.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 8:53 PM on Mar. 9, 2011

  • ground her so she can't see him, which will probably make her see him behind your back. i hope you figure something out! *hugs*
    autbot

    Answer by autbot at 8:53 PM on Mar. 9, 2011

  • You're the mom-so make her let go. If you let it continue she will believe that is okay to be trated that way. My mom did that to me when I was 19 and I was mad at her for a while for it, but now I thank my lucky stars she forced me out of that mess. You're daughter already sees it...just reinforce to her that she is too special for that nonsense.
    ABusyBee

    Answer by ABusyBee at 8:54 PM on Mar. 9, 2011

  • She may be scared to let go. Controlling guys threaten females if they leave them. What's the chances she can go stay with relatives elsewhere? Even that may not help though but it's a thought. My oldest dd had a controlling bf. I didn't know what to do until he hit her then I was able to legally keep him away from her.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:56 PM on Mar. 9, 2011

  • That's really tough but I agree with what others have said for the most part. If you push her too hard to leave him, she might just sneak around to see him and in the long run that gives the guy MORE power over her. I would just let her know that you're there for her but also make sure she is aware of the signs of abuse-especially since you say she knows that this relationship is unhealthy.
    metalhealthmom

    Answer by metalhealthmom at 9:52 PM on Mar. 9, 2011

  • I had a controlling bf in high school and it cost me a lot - I lost many of my close friends and gave up activities that I previously had loved. My grades also dropped. My mom used to tell me how awful he was but I stayed with him because 1) I didn't want to admit that she was right 2) I was afraid he'd hurt himself or me if we broke up. My parents decided to send me on a "fun trip" over the summer to stay with some relatives. When I was there & was able to have fun and relax, I realized I didn't have to be with someone who tried to control every aspect of my life. I broke up with him as soon as I got home. He threatened me but I wouldn't take him back. You probably can't force your daughter to break up with him but limit thier time together as much as you can. Encourage her to do things with her friends and people that make her feel good about herself. And always be there when she wants to talk.
    cege

    Answer by cege at 11:26 PM on Mar. 9, 2011

  • Talk to her. Inform her that she is far too young and when the time comes you won't have any objections about all this..
    AnuMeha

    Answer by AnuMeha at 6:34 AM on Mar. 10, 2011

  • If my daughter were having problems like that. Daddy would be at the boys door having a shot gun in his hands. Telling him if he wants to see his daughter again he better get his crap together other wise he would be dealing with daddy. :)
    Rosesmice

    Answer by Rosesmice at 12:18 PM on Mar. 10, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN