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12 Bumps

Unfaithful

My friend told me that she saw my husband kissing another woman at his work.

I asked him about it and he confessed it was true. He said they just flirt and they kissed once. Oddly enough I believe him. He said he did it because I have been ignoring him physically and emotionally. I am a full time nursing student with a 13 month old and I have absolutely NO TIME for any romance or affection. I don't blame him, but there is no justification for what he did.

How do we begin to heal from this emotional trial?

How did you overcome infidelity?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:52 PM on Mar. 9, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (17)
  • it's up to you if you want to fix it or not. If you do you will need counseling and you will need to also work on trying to be intimate. I'm not just talking sex, but kisses, hold his hand, cuddle, the little things really matter. I wish you the best of luck!
    June_Mama09

    Answer by June_Mama09 at 9:54 PM on Mar. 9, 2011

  • I'm really sorry for your situation. And I don't want to come off as bitchy, but do you think it's sort of a weird coincidence that the ONE time he was kissing this woman at work, your friend happened to see him?
    I only bring it up because that seems a little off to me and if you guys are going to try to work through it, then I think getting to the heart of what's going on is important.
    vicesix

    Answer by vicesix at 9:55 PM on Mar. 9, 2011

  • I'm a very negative person, and I would have a hard time believing it was just 1 kiss, but if you are wanting to make things right, then I hope he's telling you the truth.

    Keep talking, be more affectionate, even when you don't want to be, and give some loving, again, even when you don't want to. He has needs and whn you love a person you sometimes give in to the other.
    autbot

    Answer by autbot at 9:55 PM on Mar. 9, 2011

  • let him keep doing what hes doing till u can find the time for him b/c hes not getting what he needs at home so hes getting it else where........not trying to be rude........................my husband doesnt like to spend time with me holding hand kissing none of that to him it lets f*** and then i do my thing u do yours so i found some one on the side that gives me what i need and im sure my husband has too and it just keeps our marrage together and us sane
    myboysRmyhero

    Answer by myboysRmyhero at 9:59 PM on Mar. 9, 2011

  • My husband admitted to me only one little indiscretion, he said he was sorry, he made it sound so little and insignificant, something didn't feel right though, and I pressed him further, he then admitted a little bit more, few days later, I suggested maybe something in particular happened, he admitted that too, only what I suggested, nothing more. Finally I just said, I want the whole truth, tell me what happened, he told me the whole story and swore that was all that happened, and I may never know what really went on. We are still together, and I don't press him for anything, I just don't want to know. It's the hardest struggle of my life. There are days I love him and days that I really don't. Keep strong.
    amybaby_19

    Answer by amybaby_19 at 10:04 PM on Mar. 9, 2011

  • is there someone that can help with the 13 month old? I'm very sorry you are going through this, but your husband is already on his way to a affair if he isn't having one already, something is going to need to change and change fast to keep your marriage from falling apart.
    do what you can to get some time for you and your husband soon, please!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:06 PM on Mar. 9, 2011

  • http://survivinginfidelity.com/forums.aspand some serious counseling!!

    Crafty26

    Answer by Crafty26 at 10:09 PM on Mar. 9, 2011

  • So it's YOUR fault that he can't be faithful?? Realy?? does he NOT have control of himself?

    The reason I would be mad would be his excuse. He didn't say that he got caught up in a feeling or that he enjoyed her attention and things got too far, he said that it happened because YOU were ignoring him emotionally and physcially.

    Honestly, the fact that he automatically threw the blame back at you makes me feel like this relationship might need a lot of work to get it back on track. One--he needs to accept responsiblity for his behavior and not blame others. Two--he needs to understand that it's not like you are ignoring his needs on purpose, you have a lot of responsibiliites you are trying to handle. Three--does he realize that there are things he can do to help you and to relieve some of that stress in order to be able to have his needs met.

    I wish you luck. I hope you get the counseling you two need.
    layh41407

    Answer by layh41407 at 10:11 PM on Mar. 9, 2011

  • i agree with lay41407;;; so because you are busy and trying to make a better life for your family he cheated? he could have come to you and tell you that he feels a bit neglected because of your schedule. he is trying to make you feel guilty for his cheating, you were not going out on the streets, you were working your butt off at school. it is very messed up he is putting the blame on you. he might be lying when he says all they did was kiss. what he did was immature. nurses oftentimes work long hours.... what is he gonna do when you work long hours and he feels neglected????
    gwen20

    Answer by gwen20 at 10:34 PM on Mar. 9, 2011

  • I will never trust him...
    smiley745

    Answer by smiley745 at 10:39 PM on Mar. 9, 2011

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