My husband and I will be finalizing our special needs child's adoption within the next 4 months, we also have an older biological child...
Before we adopted, we had planned to leave our bio child to my parents or to my brother.. Now that we are adopting a special needs (medical) child, it puts things into a whole new ballpark!
my parents are not very good at taking care of their own health (not keeping steady appointments, not taking medication on a regular basis) and they are not very good at controlling their money (our special needs child has a subsidy). So we worry about them not being responsible enough to take our child to Specialists and therapy appointments and wasting the subsidy...
My brother is now engaged to a girl that, in the beginning of our adoption process, she made it clear she could never see herself adopting a child of a different race, which our special needs child is. Plus they have had A LOT of DRAMA in their dating/engagement relationship. We are worried about the DRAMA our children would be put thru in their marriage, and even though she has fallen in love with our child, we worry about how she would treat our child compared to children of their own, and how she would feel about the stares that come with having a special needs child and a child of a different race...
The one Couple we are considering is our adoptive childs caseworker that lives out or state. The Caseworker had considered adopting our child right before we came into the picture and devoted a lot of love and care to our child. Deep down, the caseworker is the only person we feel that we can fully trust to love and care for our children as much as we do...
So now we are trying to come up with the best way to approach caseworker about the possibility, and not to have our families find out, because they will be devastated... Do we do what we feel in our hearts is the best thing for our children and leave them to the caseworker or save face with family and leave them to my parents???
Answer by amber1330 at 10:26 PM on Mar. 9, 2011
Answer by amber1330 at 10:27 PM on Mar. 9, 2011
Answer by DragonRiderMD at 10:34 PM on Mar. 9, 2011
Answer by balagan_imma at 10:40 PM on Mar. 9, 2011
Answer by 2lilbumblebees at 11:51 PM on Mar. 9, 2011
Answer by GoodyBrook at 1:18 AM on Mar. 10, 2011
Answer by frogdawg at 8:23 AM on Mar. 10, 2011
When I adopted my children one of the questions they asked me was if I had a plan for the children in the event anything happened to me and my husband. We asked my brother in law and his wife. They are wonderful people who love us and our children. Our children also love them.They also understand that the kids may have some special issues and questions regarding their adoption and foster care experience. They also have a large house which is important since we have three kids and they have two (older teens) kids. They were very flattered that we asked them and happily agreed. We agreed years ago to take their kids if anything happened to them:)
Answer by Luuckymommy at 9:43 AM on Mar. 10, 2011
Answer by AllAboutKeeley at 6:59 PM on Mar. 10, 2011