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How do you handle the questioning??

As a birth mom i have come under fire numerous times over my decision at the end of it all i feel like i am defending myself in these conversations and eventually walk away. I made the right decision for me at the time and live with that decision everyday.. i will always have my son in my heart and cant change that. how you do approach these situations and make the best of them. make it into a positive in their eyes..

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Asked by lcrowe_10 at 11:38 PM on Mar. 9, 2011 in Adoption

Level 6 (139 Credits)
Answers (4)
  • I don't think you will really make someone change their mind on how they feel about it. But let them know it's your decision, not their decision. If you had and abortion nobody would have known to ridicule you, but you did the right thing by carrying a baby to term and doing something that must have been heartbreaking by giving that baby up. And in your heart I'm sure you knew it was for the good, weather you didn't think you could take care of a baby or support a baby, etc...whatever reason you had, as long as you know in your heart that little boy is going to have a good life, because of the decision that you made. It takes a strong person, considering how easy it is for people to get abortions now a days, but you went all the way with a pregnancy. Goodluck to you. Hold your head up high & just know that you choose life for that child.

    Answer by jfblaine83 at 11:59 PM on Mar. 9, 2011

  • Most people cannot or will not understand. All you can do is tell your story as honestly as possible and try your best not to worry about what others think. I know that is way easier to say than to do. I told no one about my son's adoption until nearly 32 years later when my son found me. I was too afraid of being judged harshly. Interestingly enough, no one judged me harshly. Only the children I raised took the news badly.

    I do not recommend lying about it, but, you can be selective about who you tell and how much information you share with them. You do not need to share the adoption with people you barely know, if you believe they will judge you harshly.

    Answer by Southernroots at 12:13 AM on Mar. 10, 2011

  • There is the rub of the birth mom. First they tell you that if you loved your child you would do the best thing you as a mother can do for it and give it to a financially secure, married couple who could give it the life you can't. They say it's a brave and selfless act to put your child's needs before your own. Then once you've done it, they say "how could you give your own child away?" "what kind of mother are you?" and imply that you would have abused your baby anyway and it would have ended up in foster care. There's no winning.
    Try to look at the questions as an opportunity to educate.

    Answer by onethentwins at 2:38 PM on Mar. 10, 2011

  • Let it slide of off your back like water off a duck. As an adoptive mom, I thank God each and every day for women like you.

    Answer by TALuke at 12:47 PM on May. 1, 2011

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