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How to tell "friend" I'm pregnant? Or not bother telling her at all? Long, sorry :)

I am four months pregnant, and a "friend" of mine ( really an old work aquaintance that I haven't seen in a year. I was always her "shoulder" when her life wasn't going good. Which was never.) doesn't know. She calls me about once or twice a month to complain about her life and tell me horrible gossip about people we used to work with. Her last one was about a young man in his twenties who just had a baby with his girlfriend. She called to tell me that the girlfriend told him it wasn't his kid, and the time before to tell me that our old boss had nearly died of a heart attack. Every time I see her name on the caller ID, I just cringe, not knowing what new horror to expect. I have always been a good friend to her, and because of her personality she doesn't have many, so I feel it would be wrong to "cut her out" when I really only have to listen to it once a month or so. My husband tells me to just not answer the phone when its her, but she will keep calling over and over, desparate to tell me the latest gossip, so I feel I might as well answer and get it over with. She is also a little "special needs", no actual diagnosis, but she has always been slow and had to settle for low-paying, menial jobs because anything else is too complicated for her to understand. She just had her second child and wanted to tell me all about the birth and everything she went through and all about everything in her life. I listened, as usual, unable to even get a word in, and decided I'd tell her some other time that I was pregnant, since I didn't want to take anything away from her moment. Well, that was over three months and a half dozen phone calls ago and I still haven't told her. She never lets me talk when we are on the phone, and I'm too polite to interrupt. It's kind of turned into a joke between my husband and myself. When I get off the phone, he asks "Did she ask anything about you this time?" and when I say that I didn't get a chance to talk, we just kind of laugh it off. We haven't seen each other in about a year ( I moved a state away, had a baby, and am just too busy to go visiting right now) and will probably see each other this summer when I go down there (she doesn't drive, and wouldn't come this far away from home anyway). Should I just let her see my huge belly? I'm due in August, and will probably go down there in July....What should I do? I feel like saying "Oh by the way, I'm four months pregnant, forgot to tell you" is a little weird...


Asked by alphamom26 at 12:00 PM on Mar. 10, 2011 in Pregnancy

Level 17 (3,274 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • I can relate to your situation more then I'd like to I would just not say how long you have known you are pregnant, and just cut her off and tell her in the middle of Then don't say how far along just say due date if she I'm guessing she wont do the math that quick to realize you are already 4mths...

    Good luck, your a good friend

    Answer by JenzAmomOf2 at 12:04 PM on Mar. 10, 2011

  • You aren't obligated to share that news with everyone. Would she care even if she knew?

    Answer by meooma at 12:04 PM on Mar. 10, 2011

  • I would just tell her, or even text her, and let her know you are expecting, tell her the due date, and let her know that you waited to tell people until you were a little further along. That way you don't have to go into great detail but you don't just see her with a huge pregnant belly and then she is hurt that she had no idea. I mean, of course you could just cut her out but you have said you don't want to do that and it sounds like you just prefer to be the bigger and more generous person. I can totally identify with that because I do it in my life, too. It doesn't hurt you to talk to her once a month and I am sure she is glad for your friendship.

    Answer by MaryMW at 12:05 PM on Mar. 10, 2011

  • i understand. i had a friend like that. we stopped being friends because i was so happy with my life, what with my pregnancy and great boyfriend, that she got jealous and stopped talking to me (true story).
    i don't think there's anything wrong with telling her you're pregnant. she might surprise you and be ecstatic! but she might be herself. LOL.

    Answer by ash.rob18 at 12:25 PM on Mar. 10, 2011

  • I tend to take the "tell people as it comes up" route. If you never get to talk, you never have the chance to tell her. If it eventually come up or she sees you obviously pregnant, you can always just say, "We talk so often, I thought you knew!"

    Answer by fancyjane at 7:58 PM on Mar. 10, 2011