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Parents who aren't quite as supportive as i'd like.

so i'm 5 months pregnant. it was completely unexpected (i took a morning after pill. surprise! doesn't always work haha), and my boyfriend and i were in a long distance relationship. we decided to keep the baby and move in together, and both of us have never been happier.

my boyfriend's mother has been so supportive, hasn't questioned our decision and is so excited to be a grandmother. my parents on the other hand...from the moment the found out i was pregnant, they've been trying to pressure us to put the baby up for adoption, and everytime i talk to them they ask why we aren't married yet.

i've told them many many many times i will not even consider adoption. i see no need, since my boyfriend has an excellent job, we have our own house, and we're both able adults who love each other. i've also told them my boyfriend and i will get married when we're ready. i want to get married, but my boyfriend is dealing with the consequences in his religion about getting a woman pregnant outside of marriage already, so i don't want to pressure him or make him feel bad. i've also explained this to my parents, but they just respond with "tell him to man up and marry you" or "he's not a real man if he won't marry you".

my boyfriend is amazing, and he treats me so so well. i just wish my parents could see that.

how do i keep a positive relationship with my parents while not letting them feel like they can just say whatever they want? i'm grateful that they love me enough to say anything at all, but i'm ready for them to just accept the situation and be happy.

Answer Question
 
ash.rob18

Asked by ash.rob18 at 12:54 PM on Mar. 10, 2011 in Relationships

Level 4 (30 Credits)
Answers (2)
  • why does he have to marry you, that's so back in the day. people nowadays don't want to get married because they got pregnant. why are they so adamant about putting the child up for adoption? its their grandchild for gods sake, i can see if you were 14 years old but obviously you are a grown ass woman who has a home, a good man and a job. the next time they make their comments about anything about you, your child or your boyfriend, tell them this "if you don't stop with the comments then you are going to stop talking to them altogether". you dont' need negativity in your pregnancy and beyond with your child. lets see if they take that hint. if not then they are the ones that are lost.
    lucky35

    Answer by lucky35 at 2:36 PM on Mar. 10, 2011

  • i'm really sorry to hear this. first of all, it is POSSIBLE that they see that he is a dirtbag and you don't see it. if that's not the case, then it's probably just that no one's good enough for their little girl, etc. many parents have a really hard time watching their daughter go thru pregnancy and become a mother, it is often her last step to womanhood and to severing the cord... make sure that they know you still need them...
    if they can't stop pushing negativity on you, tho, just distance yourself... i had to do it and my mom and i are now closer for it, and she understands she has boundaries as to what she can say to me about my own choices. it's okay to say, "i don't need extra stress. what i need from you is love and support. i chose to do (this)... it's not your choice. so please support me in what i feel i should do with my life."
    shilohsmama425

    Answer by shilohsmama425 at 4:14 PM on Mar. 10, 2011

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