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What would you do.... adult content

You are going to read this and think the worst of me, but believe me when I say I coulnt feel more like a worthless bitch of a wife :( For whatever reason I have never really been faithful to my SOs...so of course when I got married it didnt change. My husband alway knew about it, I definitely didnt hide it from him. I love him very very much, I just had security issues and blah blah blah whatever I hate myself for it and there is no excuse for it.... He is a wonderful man and a great provider and I eventually stopped putting me into situations where i would feel the need to cheat and our love grew even stronger. One night while he and I where at a party of got way to drunk and blacked out...it wasnt until the next day when I woke up at my best friends house and she told me what happened. Apparently my husband saw me kissing another guy and told my BF he was done with my shit and left me there and went home. I continued to drink and have a great time not even realizing my husband left my dumb ass...anyway after parting all night i ended up having sex with this guy. Believe me or not I dont remember doing the act at all but it doesnt surprise me. So after she told me all this I was just so disappointed in myself for getting so drunk and do it once again the this wonderful man. I went home and we made up after a long long talk....however this one time i didnt tell him that i actually had sex with the guy why this particular time I decided to keep that too myself I dont know why I had always told him the truth before I guess I was just really mad that he left me there so drunk!! About 6 weeks later we found out I was pregnant with our first child! Yeah just my luck right!!!! Anyway after my ultrasounds and doc appointment there is a good 2 weeks difference from this horrible night to the day I got pregnant...but i still wonder... I want to tell him but i dont want him to think that our first might possibly not be his...I dont want him to have to go through that...or hold it against the baby. He is so excited about this and i dont want to ruine it by telling him. Especially cause there is a 2 week difference and I just want to believe it is his. But I just want to tell him and be honest but ....i dont want to break his heart even more than i already have....He is so wonderful and deserves better than me What would you do ...would you tell him?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:58 PM on Mar. 10, 2011 in Pregnancy

This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • No offense, but there was a posting about mandatory DNA screening for newborns. You are a perfect example of why this should be done....

    On a second note, you should really tell him. I couldn't live knowing that and keeping it a secret. You never know, he may be okay with it.
    Chloesmom1126

    Answer by Chloesmom1126 at 1:03 PM on Mar. 10, 2011

  • This sounds like a future Maury Paternity test in the making. I'd come clean now and look for a therapist who specializes in sex addicts
    Mom2Jack04

    Answer by Mom2Jack04 at 1:00 PM on Mar. 10, 2011

  • why are you married
    letstalk747

    Answer by letstalk747 at 1:01 PM on Mar. 10, 2011

  • If it were me I would tell him. So he can get ready incase the baby isnt his. He already knows what you are like, so there shouldnt be any huge suprise for him to deal with.
    okmommy08

    Answer by okmommy08 at 1:02 PM on Mar. 10, 2011

  • I think you might want to consider having a polyamorous relationship. Monogamy isn't your thing. There is a whole community of peope who date and sleep with more than one person. Let your husband find someone who is faithful, and you can enjoy the lifestyle associated with being able to have more than one relationship. Please tell this man the truth so that he and you can both be happy. You are hurting him by lying to him whether you know it or not. Oh, BTW lay OFF the alcohol! It's not a good thing...AA might help you. Even if you aren't an alcoholic, it's a place where people wont judge you and you can get the help and support that you obviously need!
    lowencope

    Answer by lowencope at 1:05 PM on Mar. 10, 2011

  • Yeah, this is a very bad idea. Tell him now, and save the feelings.
    Once you have the baby, you will be so emotional. If you tell him then, he may leave...and this could make your emotional state even worse.


    "Unless there is a chance someone else could tell him before you do, I wouldn't say anything throughout the pregnancy. I would enjoy the pregnancy with him, don't risk ruining this experience for the both of you. Then after the baby is born, tell him and be prepared to take a paternity right then and there. The results would determine what happens next.
    Chloesmom1126

    Answer by Chloesmom1126 at 1:09 PM on Mar. 10, 2011

  • I dont want to cheat anymore and I have gotten help for my issues. I dont want to be with anyone else...its like an addiction, and I did stop drinking. It hurts me enough to know that there is a possibility I just dont want him to hurt as well....
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:10 PM on Mar. 10, 2011

  • go to AA. It will help. The 12 steps are good for any addiction...just go. It will be good for you. The people there are not judgemental.
    lowencope

    Answer by lowencope at 1:14 PM on Mar. 10, 2011

  • Look at it this way...
    It's like ripping off a band aid.

    If you prolong this situation, the worse it will be.
    If you choose not to tell him, that's your problem. However, sooner or later, he will put two and two together...or hopefully.
    Chloesmom1126

    Answer by Chloesmom1126 at 1:15 PM on Mar. 10, 2011

  • Please give me other advice than AA Im not a drinker...im pregnant! Im already going to counciling...
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:18 PM on Mar. 10, 2011

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