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He didnt pass his driving test & its my fault? (Autistic ds)

I took my son for his long awaited drivers test. He drives well and has been driving a year now with his permit. I went over everything with him, and reminded him the dmv worker is going to be a complete stickler for the rules, so make sure you put on your seat belt, use blinkers and all that. Never did I think I had to tell him to make a complete stop at a flippin stop sign! Needless to say my son failed his drivers test for rolling through a stop sign and not using his blinkers. The dmv worker was really nice and let him finish his test and then let us know what he could work on and why he failed. He failed because he ran a stop sign. Plain and simple.
So we get in the car to go home and my son is visibly pissed off. He says he would have passed if my dh (his step dad) would have brought him to do the course the dmv worker took, and so it is our fault he didnt pass. I told him no, you ran a stop sign, thats why you didnt pass. He said well no one was coming so I rolled on out. Really? I said look the guy told you that you could get a ticket for that & 2 if a car had turned a corner you could have caused an accident and died.
Well I have been hearing for two hours now how its my fault, my husbands fault, anyone but his fault he didnt pass. He is also Autistic so I get he stresses himself out and all that. But this morning he also told me I didnt care about him. That I dont help him with anything blah blah. All BS of course. At this point I dont know what to do. I let him vent but I am about to run away from home if he doesnt stop. I want to go hide under the bed or something.


Asked by gemgem at 1:12 PM on Mar. 10, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

Level 42 (148,630 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • OMG LMAO!!!!! I'm sorry if I offend you or anything, but I was laughing so hard I started to cry when I read this I'm glad no one is home or they'd think I am crazy!!!! This is so not your fault, but havent you learned by now everything is your fault when it comes to these kiddos!!! LOL I feel so bad for you, but its not like he can't take the test again and when he does get his license he wont be mad anymore and he'll hopefully never think about it again, but it will teach him not to run the stop sign anymore! :)

    Answer by MOM2DYLnHAYLEE at 1:20 PM on Mar. 10, 2011

  • Ha my dd didnt pass the first time and was so grumpy she blamed me because I didnt let her practice enough. This is even after I paid for drivers ed.

    Answer by okmommy08 at 1:20 PM on Mar. 10, 2011

  • My son failed the first time because his windows fogged up. My husband took him for the test and he always turns the ac off when he turns off the car. The examiner did say to him " your windows are fogging up . What do you need to do? " The poor kid had no idea what to do. So automatic failure if your windows fog up. He was upset and did blame hubby, but got over and took the test again a week later and passed.

    Answer by jcm62497 at 1:55 PM on Mar. 10, 2011

  • I guess he learned a BIG lesson. Maybe he will do better on Thrusday and STOP at the stop sign. Maybe you should add that to your reminders before he retests.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 2:10 PM on Mar. 10, 2011

  • I would send him to his room and let him vent there, it's obviously not your fault and even being autistic he could handle it better. Good luck (c:

    Answer by scout_mom at 1:15 PM on Mar. 10, 2011

  • lol Poor mom - we get blamed for everything! I'm impressed that your son was able to even take his driver's test - that's something my 13 yo with autism will never be able to do. Lots of typical kids fail their first time, so it's not that big of a deal. I would let him vent, I know it has to be upsetting. But blow it off and know that he doesn't mean it! Better luck next time!

    Answer by missanc at 1:17 PM on Mar. 10, 2011

  • Thanks! Well at 13 we didnt think our son would be able to do it either. He has come a long long way with the help of our behavioral therapist. He is going to be 18 in July so he isnt really too far behind like he used to be.

    scout I did send him to his room lol, hes up there pouting now.

    Comment by gemgem (original poster) at 1:19 PM on Mar. 10, 2011

  • Thanks ladies! Id probably be laughing too but he was literally on top of me and staring at me for 2 hours after. I was like omg ok its all my fault! He says but I had plans! I told him yeah I had them too and wasnt planning to cart you to and from work and church all weekend but now I have to so there ya go. He gets to take it again Thursday. It was all my husband could do not to laugh which also didnt help matters. He was all you ran a stop sign? And you thought you would pass?

    Comment by gemgem (original poster) at 1:24 PM on Mar. 10, 2011

  • behavoiur to be expected ,
    he cant put together that running a stop sign can kill someone ,
    hes not ready to drive ,
    in this case i would tell my son who is autistic also, some people never drive , their are reasons for driving rules and safety and go thru each one and why it has to be this way ,
    i will let him know when i think hes ready for safety reasons ,
    i feel for you , you will get thru it ok. ,

    Answer by letstalk747 at 1:28 PM on Mar. 10, 2011

  • Sounds like if he cant take responsibility as to why he failed, its a good thing he failed. Tha might sound harsh, but driver attitude is what gets people hurt.

    Answer by minimo77 at 3:41 PM on Mar. 10, 2011