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Is it ok?

Is it wrong of me to hate that my SD (11) calls me mom sometimes? We have had custody of her for almost 3 yrs now and the 1st yr we had her she called me mom and i didnt mind that much but then she told her mom that i make her call me mom (which i would never do) so then i told her that she doesnt have to call me mom and to call me by my name. I also hate that she still sometimes calls me mom cause everything she says is a lie she steals and is very disrespectful. The only times she calls me mom now is if relatives are over or her friends or she wants something. But it annoys the hell out of me when she does.

Answer Question
 
tomsjennabean

Asked by tomsjennabean at 1:39 PM on Mar. 10, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 11 (561 Credits)
Answers (4)
  • I would just tell her you want her to call you by your name or Mommy ______ whatever your name is. My son lives with his dad and until recently had a step mom. My son turns 11 this month, so around the same age as your SD. They made him call her mom and he didnt like it, neither did I. He doesnt call my dh dad since I think he has a dad, he just calls my dh by his name. My dh was the one to do that, he was calling my dh Daddy _______, and my dh said no. I love you. I have been around you since you were 2, but you have a dad. I want you to remember he is your dad, but I love you like my own child. My son went home & told his dad & dad told my son he didnt have to call SM mom. Sometimes you just have to be direct I think.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 1:44 PM on Mar. 10, 2011

  • I would be uncomfortable with my 8 yr old SD calling me mom ever....she is a very sweet little girl but she has a mother and I don't want to even LOOK LIKE I'm trying to take her place...I know I would be uncomfortable with my daughter callingn another women mom or anything with the word mom in it....that is just me though....I tell her to just call me Monique and we both seem to feel good about this....although she recently told my daughter that my DH isnt her dad...I don't know what that was about but BIL got on her about it and she apologized and has gone back to being a sweet little girl.
    Lucky209

    Answer by Lucky209 at 1:56 PM on Mar. 10, 2011

  • I wouldn't be mad and for the other issues, she needs her PARENTS to step in and be parents. Teach her right from wrong. She may be disrespectful because she is sensing from you that you don't like her or are treating her differently.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 1:56 PM on Mar. 10, 2011

  • i have explained to her that im not her mother and she has one that loves her and i would never try to take her place. I told her that im the one that "watches" her while her dad is at work. I explained that i would be mad at my daughters if they ever called someone else mom. (but she puts names to everyone like my sisters bf is uncle or my brothers gf is aunt or the neighbor down the street is mom and the kid on the bus is her sister even through they never hang out and that annoys me so much) I have told her i love her very much but i dont love the way she acts sometimes. I know i treat her different than my 2 (4 and 13months) and im always telling my 4 yr old since she starts school next year and we have one on the way that we will go to lunch out of school if she does good. Ive told SD that too but she continues to do bad. Ive tried everything i can to try and help her but nothing works
    tomsjennabean

    Comment by tomsjennabean (original poster) at 2:27 PM on Mar. 10, 2011

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