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MY HUBBY NEEDS TO PUT HIS EX WIFE IN CHECK.

MY HUSBAND REFUSES TO CHECK HIS EX ABOUT ANYTHING, LIKE POPPING UP WHEN I AM NOT HOME, OR MAKING COMMENTS AT WORK. HE WILL NOT SAY ANTHING TO LET HER NOW SHE IS DISRESPECTFUL NOR DOES HE WANT ME TO. WHY SHOULD I HAVE TO FIGHT SO HARD FOR HIM TO MAKE HIS EX RESPECT ME. AND WHAT'S WORSE IT'S LIKE HE IS PROTECTING HER FEELINGS AND ARGUES WITH ME? I AM ABOUT TO CALL 9 YEARS OF MARRIAGE QUITS! ANY ADVICE LADIES?

 
NURSE_MOM_OF_2

Asked by NURSE_MOM_OF_2 at 11:55 PM on Nov. 22, 2008 in Relationships

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This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • there is no polite way to go about this to either one of them. you do what you feel you need to if your hubby dosent have balls big enough to stand up to her then it looks like your going to have to get frank and to the point with the women. tell her your boundaries stick to them. you can't control either one of them but you can sure do your part to teach others how to treat you.
    good luck.
    amanda_23

    Answer by amanda_23 at 3:30 AM on Nov. 23, 2008

  • I would politely try and talk to her to see why she acts this way. If there are kids then that is a great reason to try and work things out. However, you are going to have to keep your emotions in check until after it is over so that you do not make things worse by putting hubby in the middle which will only make things worse no matter how good the intentions were. We as women have the greatest power of all, we are able to twist things to get what we want, this sounds like you just need to pretend to be sweet to get to the issue resolved and then once you alone vent about what a so and so you may think she is.
    vbongard

    Answer by vbongard at 12:10 AM on Nov. 23, 2008

  • In my opion its not your bussiness to say anything to the ex stay out of it
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:26 AM on Nov. 23, 2008

  • i would try talking to him and seriously ask him how its making you feel. Let him know how would he like it if it was the other way around. I wouldn't think he would like it. Now if there are kids involved then there needs to be a better solution between the three of you. The ex needs to respect you are the new wife. Men tend to listen when were calm and serious. I wish you luck!
    PinkRose282

    Answer by PinkRose282 at 12:30 AM on Nov. 23, 2008

  • Belive me you cath more flies with honey than vinegar! I hated that saying but its true! If you just let him know you are feeling this way he may just try to work things out..And for anon it is your buisness when she is disrespecting YOU in YOUR HOME! It most deffinitly is your buisness!
    gracie43008

    Answer by gracie43008 at 1:42 AM on Nov. 23, 2008

  • What kind of comments is she making at work? If it's just conversation that's one thing, but if she's making snide comments about you that's compeletely unacceptable.

    Do they have kids together? If so then they really need to have open communication...

    Why is she popping by when you're not there? And why are you so nervous about it? After 9 years with you and not with her, why are you still concerned about their relationship? Have they given you reason to be concerned ...

    There really isn't enough information here to form an opinion properly...
    AnnieMcD

    Answer by AnnieMcD at 5:34 AM on Nov. 23, 2008

  • THEY MET WHEN SHE WAS THREE MONTH PREGNANT BY ANOTHER MAN, HE BEFRIENDED HER AND HE WAS PRESENT WHEN THE BABY GIRL WAS BORN. HAVING A HORRIBLE HOME LIFE, HE WENT INTO THE MILITARY AND ASKED HER TO MARRY HIM-AN INSTANT FAMILY. ABOUT 4 YEARS SHE BECAME PREGNANT BY HIS MASTER CHIEF AND THEY DIVORCED WHEN THE GIRL WAS 4. SHE WENT HER OWN WAY AND ABOUT 3 YEARS AGO SHE AND THE GIRL POPPED BACK INTO OUR LIVES. I HAS BEEN DISRESPECT SINCE. THINGS I HAVE PUT UP WITH PARTIALLY DUE TO THE FACT THAT THIS IS THE ONLY FATHER THE NOW 16YEAR OLD HAD EVER KNOWN. BUT SHE RECEIVED A DEGREE IN CRIMINAL JUSTICE ABOUT A YEAR AGO AND MY HUSBAND IS A CORRECTIONS OFFICER, HE CAME AND TOLD ME SHE WANTED TO APPLY FOR THE COMMUNITY SERVICE POSTION AT HIS JOB, HE SAID IF I JUST SAID THE WORD HE WOULD DROP SOME HINTS TO DIM THE POSSIBLTY OF HER GETTING.
    NURSE_MOM_OF_2

    Answer by NURSE_MOM_OF_2 at 12:50 AM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • THE JOB. I SAID NO! DO NOT PLAY THAT GAME, IF SHE WENT TO SCHOOL TO BETTER HERSELF THAN SHE HAS THE RIGHT TO GET A POSITION THAT WILL HELP HER PROVIDE FOR HER KIDS. I ALSO TOLD HIM THAT IT DOES NOT HAVE TO BE PUBLIC KNOWLEDGE THAT THEY WERE ONCE MARRIED, BUT SHE MADE SURE THAT DIDN'T LAST PAST THE FIRST WEEK BY GOING INTO THE BREAK ROOM STATING SOMETHING "THEIR DAUGHTER" HAD DONE.
    NURSE_MOM_OF_2

    Answer by NURSE_MOM_OF_2 at 12:52 AM on Nov. 24, 2008

  • IT WAS EATING HER UP. EVERYTIME I SAY HE NEEDS TO DEAL WITH IT HE BRINGS UP MY FAMILY ISSUES AND STATES "HOW COME YOU NEVER TELL THEM". YESTERDAY I WAS THROUGH AND SAID I WAS CALLING HER AND SETTING SOME BOUNDRIES SINCE HE WOULD NOT AND HE THREATENED TO TELL MY COUSIN SOME TRUE FEELINGS I WAS TOWARDS HER A COUPLE OF MONTHS PAST. IT ENRAGES ME, I FEEL LIKE HE IS PROTECTING HER AND NOT HIS WIFE AND MY FEELINGS DO NOT MATTER. WE HAVE TWO KIDS AND I LOVE MY FAMILY....BUT I REFUSE TO HAVE TO BEG FOR THE RESPECT THAT I KNOW I DAMN WELL DESERVE..I FEEL LIKE THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT SHE WANTED AND HE IT SO DUMB TO SEE THAT HE IS ABOUT TO LOSE ME FOREVER....
    NURSE_MOM_OF_2

    Answer by NURSE_MOM_OF_2 at 12:58 AM on Nov. 24, 2008

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