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How long do you wait? How did you tell people?

How long do you wait to tell people when you become pregnant?
My first pregnancy, we weren't trying, but we were still super excited, and told right away...then miscarried at about 12 weeks. The next two pregnancies, I told nobody, and miscarried both.
My 4th, and only successful pregnancy, we had been TTC for only a few months, and we were so excited! We told everyone right away. Now our daughter is 29 months old.
This time, we were not trying...and while I'm excited, it's dampened by fear and worry. I got a very faint positive Monday, and a darker one Wednesday. Went for bloodwork today, and the results should be back by tomorrow.
My husband wants to keep it a secret for a while, but I can't decide how long. Do I keep it a secret only until bloodwork confirms that I am indeed pregnant? Or until we see a heartbeat at our first ultrasound, which should be between 6-8 weeks? Or until 13 weeks, when mostly the danger of miscarriage has passed? I don't know if I can hold it in that long.

How did you tell everyone you were pregnant? We bought our daughter a Tshirt that says "Big Sister" on it, and we plan on giving copies to our Moms, then texting the picture to my Dad & Brother, who live out of state, then we'll just post it on facebook for everyone else. Just to see how long it takes everyone to figure it out LOL.


Asked by FluffyMamaBunny at 3:23 PM on Mar. 10, 2011 in Pregnancy

Level 19 (6,861 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • With my first, everyone knew within hours of me peeing on a stick. With my second, we wanted to keep it to ourselves for a bit longer, so we told when I started showing, at 14 weeks. With our third, we waited until all the preliminary stuff came back okay (ultrasounds and bloodwork) and then we told (around 8 weeks). With our fourth, we just told people as we talked to them after we found out. (around 5 weeks) We did end up having to tell EVERYONE much sooner with the fourth than we wanted because certain people who were told couldn't keep the information to themselves.

    Answer by fancyjane at 7:28 PM on Mar. 10, 2011

  • With our first, we didn't tell until I was 3 months along. We surprised everyone by giving pacifiers as xmas presents that year.

    With the second, my first blurted it out to everyone when I was about 2 months along.


    Answer by Anonymous at 3:25 PM on Mar. 10, 2011

  • I would wait until 13wks..if you can't keep it in, tell the people closest to you, and tell them to keep it on the down low until you feel comfortable enough to let everyone else in on the big news! Sorry to hear about your m/c I too had one a year and a half ago. g/l!

    Answer by Ambie0526 at 3:26 PM on Mar. 10, 2011

  • Well congrats to you both. And i would say around the begining of your secong trimester is when the best time is. The risks of a miscarrige go down dramaticaly so you should feel safe then. Hope this helps and good luck.

    Answer by michelle.coppes at 3:27 PM on Mar. 10, 2011

  • 3 months may seem like a long time to hold in your excitement, but is so much easier than telling everyone now and having to tell them you lost the baby ( I hope you don't, but you never know) So I'd wait

    With our ds we got frames and a neutral outfit and had our parents open the gifts, his parents didn't understand it, but my mom started crying...

    With dd we let our son tell everyone that mommy was going to have a baby... It was so sweet. :)


    Answer by BabyBugsmama at 3:28 PM on Mar. 10, 2011

  • with my oldest, I didnt tell anyone till i took my pregnancy test, i have only had one miscarriage and it was caused by bad stress than my second i found out right away and he is almost 2 now so i would wait till your first dr s appt!

    Answer by zackarysmommy at 3:57 PM on Mar. 10, 2011

  • We told people at 3 weeks and we told people the same exact way, by putting a big sister shirt on our daughter & sending it to family members & then posted it on facebook. lol Everyone caught on immediately except for my grandma.

    Answer by momoflilangel at 7:03 PM on Mar. 10, 2011

  • If you have had 2 miscarriages, I would wait. My first I told at 8 weeks. Everything was fine. My second I told at 12 weeks and then had a miscarriage. It was awful. After that I waited until 20 weeks.

    Answer by mompam at 3:27 PM on Mar. 10, 2011