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ERR keep your mouth shut..

So a close friend decided to tell an ex-coworker that I was preganant. My husband I decided we were so close to finding out the sex of the baby we would do it all at once. (We waited so long to tell certain people because we miscarried in July) My ex-coworker was once married to my uncle. I still consider her family and my husband and I were going to go to her and tell her face-to-face. I am so annoyed!! My friend said "well you are so far along I figured it wasn't a secret." It's not a secret but we as the couple with the news wanted to be able to tell our friends and family. Is it wrong for me to be so upset? She is acting like I should get over it it's no big deal. She hasn't had news like this, not engaged or married, and no kids. I just don't think she understands.

Answer Question
 
jdzamko

Asked by jdzamko at 4:08 PM on Mar. 10, 2011 in Pregnancy

Level 11 (499 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • She probably just doesn't understand what the big deal is because she hasn't been there.. you have every right to be upset though.. it's your news to tell!
    kaitilala

    Answer by kaitilala at 4:11 PM on Mar. 10, 2011

  • No, she shouldn't have said anything, but are you sure she meant to? Did she say it like, " did you hear who was pregnant" or did she say something thinking they already knew. Yes, it's ok to be upset, but the damage is done.
    BabyBugsmama

    Answer by BabyBugsmama at 4:11 PM on Mar. 10, 2011

  • She knew this person didn't know. She said she didn't do it on purpose but she knew we were waiting. Then sends me a text "I told so-n-so you were preggers, hope it's not a secret". So I don't know what to think. She said " I didn't know you wanted to tell every single person". If I choose to go to everyone's house I know personally to tell them that's my business. Not that I will, that's A LOT of people. lol
    jdzamko

    Comment by jdzamko (original poster) at 4:14 PM on Mar. 10, 2011

  • Personally Id be upset with her. Sounds like she did it intentionally and its not her news to tell so ya Id be upset with her no doubt. But I wouldn't let it affect me and hers relationship I just wouldn't tell her anything you don't want anybody else to know from now on.
    JordonMichelle

    Answer by JordonMichelle at 4:31 PM on Mar. 10, 2011

  • I think you have every right to be upset. It is YOUR place to tell people, not anyone elses! The same thing happened to me when I was pregnant with my daughter - We wanted to tell everyone ourselves, especially close family - then my Mom told my brother's girlfriend (now wife) and she told my brother before I had a chance to. I was really upset. It was not my Mom's place or my sister-in-laws place to be telling people - though in my situation, they both were genuinely just too excited to keep it to themselves lol. And once my SIL knew I was upset, she felt bad about it.
    FluffyMamaBunny

    Answer by FluffyMamaBunny at 4:31 PM on Mar. 10, 2011

  • I dont think you are wrong at all! I wanted to tell my brother myself that I was having a boy, instead my moms friend told him. I was all tore up! He could have cared less... he was just happy he was going to have a little nephew around soon. lol It bothered me though!
    sissy0604

    Answer by sissy0604 at 6:36 PM on Mar. 10, 2011

  • When I was pregnant with my first, I was calling friends to share the news and one girl must have hung up and called everyone else in our group. By the time I called them, it was old news. I was hurt and annoyed....she didn't think it was a big deal....until it happened to her two years later. We are still in touch but we don't really talk all that often any more. Sorry this happened to you!
    khedy

    Answer by khedy at 6:43 PM on Mar. 10, 2011

  • I think it is your news to tell and not hers. Even if she doesn't think it was a big deal, it isn't her news, so she doesn't get to decide if it matters or not to you. I'd make sure she knew you were very upset about it. Not to hold it over her head or anything, but just to make it clear that you are not okay with her big mouth on this. You want to see and hear everyone's first reaction to your big news, not some congratulations after their reaction. I'd be annoyed, too.
    fancyjane

    Answer by fancyjane at 7:18 PM on Mar. 10, 2011

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