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Do I have to let my child play with a cousin if that child has bad manners?

My sister-n-law's little boy is rude, loud, complaining, unruly and is usuallly bouncing off the walls. After a recent playdate with him, my daughter exhibited some of those same bad actions. Do I have to keep the peace and let her play with him or is it okay to keep them seperate as much as humanly possible?


Asked by Kelly502 at 7:17 PM on Mar. 10, 2011 in General Parenting

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Answers (9)
  • I would just try not to have many play dates with the cousin rather than tell the SIL that her son is rude or a bad influence on my child. I don't think that would be very well received. I've got friends that I have to schedule very specific kinds of outings with because their kids have pretty bad behavior. (Think go out to lunch, rather than somewhere the kids have to play together.) If you decide to confront SIL about the child's behavior, I'd make sure to point out the way YOUR child behaves after being around the cousin, rather than the specific behaviors of the cousin. (Ex. DD has recently been extremely rude and disobedient after our playdates, so we decided to limit them for the time being.) You can also talk to DD about not copying bad behaviors.

    Answer by fancyjane at 7:34 PM on Mar. 10, 2011

  • I would llimit the amount of time they are together.

    Answer by meooma at 7:22 PM on Mar. 10, 2011

  • I would talk to my sister in law first.  Not a suggestion, you know her, I don't.  Just saying what I would do.  If that didn't work then yes, I would definitely keep them away from each other and I see nothing wrong with you keeping them away from each other.


    Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 7:18 PM on Mar. 10, 2011

  • It would be impossible to never see them, but just limit it to family get-togethers and be friendly.

    Answer by tastymama at 7:22 PM on Mar. 10, 2011

  • Thanks, I didn't expect a reply so quickly, that sounds like a great idea, I will talk with her and then I will post how things go.

    Comment by Kelly502 (original poster) at 7:21 PM on Mar. 10, 2011

  • Yes!  Don't forget to keep us updated~  Is she a pretty open person or do you think it will just cause a rift?


    Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 7:22 PM on Mar. 10, 2011

  • She is pretty open about most things, but when it comes to her children she can get a bit defensive. I hope for the best.

    Comment by Kelly502 (original poster) at 7:24 PM on Mar. 10, 2011

  • I won't let my kids around SIL's kids (and they don't want to be around them either) anymore than absolutely possible - in other words, my kids don't see those cousins unless they're at grandpa & grandma's at the same time. I won't do playdates, I won't send them to the same school, I won't expose them to those hellions if I don't have to. So no, if you don't want to, you don't have to.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:47 PM on Mar. 10, 2011

  • If you can limit there time together, do it. If not- watch the kids when they are together.


    Answer by laura67-boo at 9:03 PM on Mar. 10, 2011