Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

How many of you....

think that parenting has a lot to do with how your kids turn out as adults? Have any of you done everything possible for your kids to learn responsibility and goals and education and the importance of family, etc and yet after all this they have turned out lazy and inconsiderate and using you?


Asked by older at 7:54 PM on Mar. 10, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Level 69 (2,285,492 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (17)
  • daughter is amazing..inside & out..she is such a blessing..I truly am the happiest & luckiest mom in the world..I have always treated her with respect, patience, & lots of love..We talk alot & she comes to me about EVERYTHING..I am so proud to be her mom...

    Answer by jmfire14 at 3:08 AM on Mar. 11, 2011

  • You know I have grown kids and I am going with it is a 50/50 thing. My older kids are 22,18, and 17 and my 22 and 17 yr old are quite responsible young adults. They work, pay their bills, they are law abiding and for the most part make me happy because I see them happy. I know now we dont get the "dream" we envision for our kids, the best we can do is hope they are happy in their choices. I have one who is not working, hasnt worked, wont do anything, has been in trouble with the law, and is totally 100% opposite of his siblings. I raised them all the same, so whats up right? So I think some times it really is a coin toss.

    Answer by gemgem at 7:57 PM on Mar. 10, 2011

  • I agree with gemgem. Don't have kids that old yet, but judging by my childhood, I say it's about right. My mom raised 4 children by herself, and my brother is the only one who is inconsiderate, lazy, etc. She always ask us the same thing; where did she go wrong? IMO, she was a pretty good mom, she wasn't perfect, but who is. She did the best she could. We always tell her 3 out of 4 ain't bad. My brother is just going to have to learn the hard way.

    Answer by mommy_jules at 8:05 PM on Mar. 10, 2011

  • older it makes me wonder too and most of all makes me so sad, because he is just a good looking smart man and could do so much more with his life and hes just wasting it. I actually pray he finds a good woman LOL and hope maybe that would change his opinion of the world.

    Answer by gemgem at 8:10 PM on Mar. 10, 2011

  • i just personallythink it depends on the kid because you can practice the best parenting skills and it could or could not matter

    Answer by ryahzMommy at 9:53 PM on Mar. 10, 2011

  • The underlying cause is the other factor. There are others in your children's lives that influence them too. Their friends, teachers, coaches, school mates are all an influence. When you hear all these very successful people talk about how they got to where they are they list their parents and a long line of others. That I believe is why you can have such a huge difference between adult children. I am sure for all the success stories that can list of a line of people that helped them become what they are there is just as many stories about people turning out not the best that where influenced by people outside the family as well.


    Answer by Alanaplus3 at 11:58 AM on Mar. 11, 2011

  • I have yet to find this out but I have to be honest, when you post something I listen A LOT more because you already have children who are adults and PRODUCTIVE members of society. 


    Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 7:55 PM on Mar. 10, 2011

  • MrsH, I just wondered if some moms here found themselves with adults child who were taught these things and yet they became inconsiderate and bums, I just assume that if we do this from their early days as children the transition to adulthood would bring some fruit, or at least some sort of consideration.  Like the 20 year old eating his parents out of house and not having a job, and not helping, and them the moms come with the tough love thingy, when in actuallity these kids didn't have a chance to be anything else.


    And MrsH, I thank you for your comment.


    Comment by older (original poster) at 8:02 PM on Mar. 10, 2011

  • gemgem, it puzzles me what makes the difference..., like in your case...

    Comment by older (original poster) at 8:05 PM on Mar. 10, 2011

  • I do think that children learn what they live. I try to show my children how to be responsible, caring, and have a good education and know how to get by in life. My oldest who is 22 is now living on her own She's pretty much responsible for keeping herself up, I'm glad that I did actually teach her something right. My son who is 17, he will be 18 next month, isn't responsible at all. He expects everything given to him. I didn't raise him this way. He just expects a lot out of people and uses them. I worry about him and how he will be when he is on his own. All I can say is do your best and hope that your children do learn things from you to be able to make it on their own.

    Answer by amessageofhope at 1:17 AM on Mar. 11, 2011