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3 Bumps

Should I stay with him or not?

My dh lies to me about the most pety things. He has been faithful but the lies just don't seem to stop flowing. We have been together for 3.5 years and these little white lies really really hurt. He has said so many mean things and there just has been so much pain. I kicked him out and now I am seeing how hard it is to be a single mother. And everytime I cry my dd cries. It is a mess. Should I get back with him, he swears he will change this time, which I know is a lie. But I need the help and I am supose to start school in june. But i cant if i do not have help.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:02 PM on Mar. 10, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • I wouldn't. Its going to be hard, but why be miserable and hurt? Stay strong OR both of you go to therapy and fix things that way.
    autbot

    Answer by autbot at 10:04 PM on Mar. 10, 2011

  • Don't go back, you'll teach your baby tht its acceptable to be lied . I was a single mommy for a long time it can be tuff but was worth it. You both deserve better.
    msboerschinger

    Answer by msboerschinger at 10:19 PM on Mar. 10, 2011

  • DONT TAKE HIM BACK YOUR TEACHING YOUR CHILD THATS HOW A MAN WILL TREAT YOU WHEN HE LOVES YOU AND THEN WHEN YOUR CHILD GETS OLDER AND START DATING HOPEFULLY NOT BUT IF SO THEY WONT KNOW WHATS THE MEANING OF THE WORD LOVE BECAUSE THEY HAVE SEEN YOU IN DADDY TOGETHER SHOWING THE SO CALLED WORD LOVE WHICH IS NOT LOVE BUT HUN LISTEN I'M A SINGLE MOM OF A 4YR OLD AND A 2YR OLD I THOUGHT IT WAS HARD TOO ONLY WHEN I WAS IN THE WORLD DOING STUFF I DIDN'T HAVE NO RIGHT DOING UNTILL I GAVE MY LIFE TO THE LORD SO HUN ITS NOT GOING TO BE HARD UNLESS YOU MAKE IT HARD THERE WILL BE MANY CRYING DAYS BUT BABY TRUST ME ITS WORTH IT NOT TO SEE YOUR CHILDREN SEE YOU GOING THROUGH THE MESS BABY DADDY TAKING YOU THROUGH I HAD TO LEARN THE HARD WAY AS WELL BABY DADDY GETTING ME KICKED OUT MY HOUSE FOR BRINGING A SHOT GUN INTO MY HOUSE ETC I GOT SAVED IN 2009 I TELL YOU WHAT JOY/PEACE ME AND MY BABIES HAVE SO TRUST ME ITS WORTH BEING A SINGLEMOM

    My2ButterFlys

    Answer by My2ButterFlys at 12:07 AM on Mar. 11, 2011

  • Unless he agrees to attend couples counseling with you, I suspect you will be better off on your own
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 10:22 PM on Mar. 10, 2011

  • I really can't stand liars. I believe I have the right to say that, because I haven't told a lie in I don't know how long. I don't do things or put myself in a situation where I have to tell a lie. And! I'm not into living a politically correct lifestyle. That being said... I understand you need the help, but putting up with lies period isn't going to help in the long run. You'll find yourself re-visiting (mentally) what he has lied about and what he maybe lying about in the present. You said it yourself, he maybe lying about changing. I don't see you becoming a wholehearted success in both your personal and career-oriented life, if you can't seem to deal with a situation where you're second guessing your decisions. He's a liar and there's nowhere around it. He's going to have to become self-aware of just how much he is effecting your life... on his own... out of your life.

    LanaisSky96

    Answer by LanaisSky96 at 10:24 PM on Mar. 10, 2011

  • your gonna be stressed out either way. There is help out there for single moms. look into your school they might have a daycare program to enroll her. even some daycares will help you financially.
    minki111

    Answer by minki111 at 10:40 PM on Mar. 10, 2011

  • If you can't trust him, you won't have a good relationship. Trust is key.
    mandyxoxo

    Answer by mandyxoxo at 11:03 PM on Mar. 10, 2011

  • what did he really help u with when he was there???? finances??? then he can help with child support!!!!... emotionally and mentally, you are high and dry. constantly worrying about his lies. Why add that to your school studies??? do u really need the added stress??? FOCUS ON YOU & CHILD. hold him accountable for help and support of child... taking her so you can study etc... but let his lying tale tell that lie somewhere else. you deserve so much better ...
    kkbird

    Answer by kkbird at 12:56 AM on Mar. 11, 2011

  • Maybe see if your family can help or look into state organzations that can help you.
    Betutah

    Answer by Betutah at 1:23 AM on Mar. 11, 2011

  • Do not take him back unless he agrees to go to counseling. The little white lies may turn into a major lie. I can imagine how hard it is to be a single mother, but you have to believe in yourself and your strength as a woman and a mother. My husband has always told little lies and one day he confessed his biggest deceit ever- that he had been cheating on me for 3 years! I chose to take him back, but he did go to counseling with me, suffered a heart attack and other health issues (I believe because of his own guilt.) So I felt he had "paid his dues" for what he did. My children were already grown so they had to deal with him each on their own terms. I still feel he tells little white lies sometimes, but I don't even think he can tell fact from fiction sometimes. My situation is very complicated. I'm not necessarily advocating giving up on your marriage entirely, but whatever you choose, proceed with caution.
    rosiemendo

    Answer by rosiemendo at 8:05 AM on Mar. 11, 2011