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How you deal with a person who is constantly negative?

I am friends with this person who is constantly negative and I just don't know how to deal with it anymore. There could be absolutely nothing wrong in her life and yet she's still being negative with stuff like "oh it's probably going to cost too much for this" or "it's probably going to rain this weekend which will just ruin my whole weekend", things like that. She can't really ever seem to enjoy the present. When she gets something new, she immediately wonders what's going to go wrong with it. When we go places she's never been, she's making assumptions about how bad the place is going to be before she gets there. It just gets irritating. Do I say something, or do I just go along and not say anything? I just don't deal well with negative people, I can usually find the positive in any situation.


Asked by AprilDJC at 12:22 AM on Mar. 11, 2011 in Relationships

Level 20 (8,524 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • Deal with it in small amounts. Try to have a positive response to all her negatives, and when you can't do that anymore, you've found your limit! Definitely draw boundaries for yourself, because if you're around it too much, that kind of negativity will inevitably bring you down. Look for an opportunity to say something, but don't push it. Your friend might not even realize she's doing it, and if you point it out, she might be able to be introspective and stop herself and be a happier person!

    Try this (if you think she'll take it well): next time you get tired of hearing one negative thing after another, say, "I want to challenge you. I challenge you to go one whole day without making a negative comment. Every time you want to make a negative comment, think of something positive instead." Good luck!

    Answer by Adelicious at 12:55 AM on Mar. 11, 2011

  • Negative people bring negativity to your life. Find a more positive friend.

    Answer by ashleyxo8 at 12:25 AM on Mar. 11, 2011

  • She may not realize how negative she comes off. Or, she could be going through a rough spot in other areas of her life. I had a friend tell me once, when I was at my lowest point in life, that she got tired of hearing about the bad things in my life. I told her, "Well, don't ask me how I am doing and what is going on in my life if you don't really mean it." I would have never talked about the bad things in my life had she not asked me about them. I usually avoid talking about that kind of stuff because I know how depressing it sounds, but it's not like I can control what is happening in my life. Are you going to tell me to be optimistic when I was just hit by a car? Aren't friends supposed to be there through thick and thin? These are just some things to keep in mind. Keep in mind also that this person may be going through depression or might be fishing for support. Be sensitive and don't fight whatever she says. Just move on

    Answer by hellokittykat at 1:26 AM on Mar. 11, 2011

  • Like you, I'm more of an optimist. My SO is the same way, and it does drive me crazy sometimes. I usually tell him to stop being so negative. You have to try to find the good in any situation, no matter what's going on. I really believe that if you think negatively about everything, that you can't expect any good things to happen in your life. If you just open your eyes to the possibility of something good happening, it can make your life open to anything. Tell your friend that she needs to take a chance and see if she can see something good for a change. If she isn't willing to look for the good things in her life, she is missing a lot.

    Answer by amessageofhope at 12:36 AM on Mar. 11, 2011

  • I balance it with always being positive. Of course I can't do that 24/7 but can do it when I see that person who is like that in my life

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:58 AM on Mar. 11, 2011

  • I like that, Adelicious. I sometimes do that to myself too, when I'm having a rough day. For me, it helps just not sure how to bring it up to her lol.

    Comment by AprilDJC (original poster) at 1:23 AM on Mar. 11, 2011

  • People that brings this sort of negativity are her to drain your energy. A few months ago I had to throw a person out of my home because of her negativity. Even when you tell these ppl leave you alone they insist on bothering you. This person sounds exactly like my person. She was so sicken, my husband had to intervene one time and ask her why is she so negative. I think she got a thrill from being so pestimestic.

    Answer by dubewife at 2:39 AM on Mar. 11, 2011

  • You have to take a step back. Just because something is negative for them does not mean it has to be negative for you. Also, you can limit the amount of contact you have if it is bugging you too much.

    Answer by lovingmy4babies at 8:48 AM on Mar. 11, 2011

  • I divorced him.

    (not specifically for that reason, but it was one of MANY unresolved issues)

    Answer by rio_burb at 9:44 AM on Mar. 11, 2011

  • She is probably drawn to you because you aren't negative! Maybe she doesn't realize it and if you can gently point it out to her, do so. In the end, I bet she will appreciate it. That is, if she tries to do something about it. If she would rather spin in her negativity, then I would have to close that chapter of friendship. It does get draining after a while. Even if it does end your friendship, you have to know that she will think about it on down line and remember your wise words to her.

    Answer by JawgaMom1 at 10:52 AM on Mar. 11, 2011