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This is not the time to irritatee me sir" (*vent*)

ok so the father of my oldest daughter (8) called me today and asked could he get her for the weekend i told him"NO! my husband just Passed away this week and she needs to be here with all of her family ohh& shall i add that my husband has taken care of my oldest daughter like she was his,and she is taken this death really hard..
he then starts to go off on me saying:


wtf that's not her fuckn family,that wasn't even her fuckn daddy im coming to get my daughter because my father is in town and he wants too see her

me:well if your father wants to see her i"ll bring her over to your moms Saturday night for a couple of hours but she cant spend the night

him:why NOT??I don't get it?

me:well if you don't get it then i really don't know what to tell because ive made myself loud and CLEAR

Him:well if you don't bring her too me im coming to your house with the cops tomorrow to get my daughter,this doesn't make any sense your not returning my phone calls,you haven't sent my daughter to school in 3 days and now your saying i cant get her for the weekend your not even Stable enough to keep her.....


after that i hung up the phone in his face because i swear this man is like a permanent headache that i cant get rid of...
vent over*:(

Answer Question
 
LABELmeCUTE

Asked by LABELmeCUTE at 3:05 AM on Mar. 11, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 15 (1,951 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • – collapse
    sorry but he has the right to be with his dd and give her moral support. She is young and needs to step away from all the stress of the family grief. Don't put all your emotional burden on her. Give her a chance to get a fresh breath of air with dad and grandpa. You are being selfish. I'm sorry if that sounds mean but you sound so caught up in your grief you are not thinking of her.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:25 AM on Mar. 11, 2011 (hidden) + expand

  • I think maybe you should ask her what she wants to do. Yeah her father has a right to see her but if she wants to be with her mom and other family while she morns the loss of the man who helped raise her and who she must love a great deal then that is where she needs to be. But if she wants to just back away from it for a few days then let her. Imo her step dad is her family also and her bio dad needs to realize that with the kind of attitude he has about them will hurt his daughter. I am sorry for your loss. But talk to your daughter.
    angelmine2011

    Answer by angelmine2011 at 5:59 AM on Mar. 11, 2011

  • Do you two have court ordered visitation?  If not he can do nothing about it.

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 6:00 AM on Mar. 11, 2011

  • I am sorry for your loss. I'm also sorry you have to deal with your ex jackass in this time of grief as well.

    I would ask her what she would like to do. She might want to get away from it all for a bit or she might want to stay. Also, you do need to take into consideration what any court order you have might say. If it's his time to see her this weekend, there is really nothing you can do about it.
    layh41407

    Answer by layh41407 at 6:49 AM on Mar. 11, 2011

  • I am so sorry for your loss. I agree with your suggestion to visit a couple of hours, but I too would ask your daughter what she wanted and keep in mind any court order in place. GL
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 7:21 AM on Mar. 11, 2011

  • I am so sorry for your loss and my prayers are with you and your family!!! If there is anything that I can do, a shoulder to cry on, an ear to vent, to chat, whatever please don't hesitate to let me know. I know what you are going through because I still have the same headache and it's been 27 yrs!!!
    I would ask your dtr what she wants to do. However, I made the mistake of not taking my sons, quite a bit younger than your dtr, to my Dad's funeral and that was their favorite granddad. I had to take them to counseling and was told that I should have made them go because they needed that closure. If he does come with the cops, which I doubt he will, if he is anything like my ex he doesn't even know how to dial 911, explain to the officer what is going on and if she wants to stay with you the officer should understand!!!! Once again I am so sorry for your loss and if there is anything I can do for you please let me know!! Love
    jesussaves58

    Answer by jesussaves58 at 8:05 AM on Mar. 11, 2011

  • I'm terribly sorry for your loss. I agree with you keeping her, and he is an idiot if he doesn't understand why she has been absent from school and does not want to go see his dad. Is there court-ordered visitation, or is it just an arrangement you two have made? If it's court ordered and it's not his weekend, there's nothing he can do anyway, and I wouldn't worry about him. Your family is in my thoughts and prayers. Keep your head up, Mama!
    lovingmy4babies

    Answer by lovingmy4babies at 8:10 AM on Mar. 11, 2011

  • thanks mommas,&yess i asked her what she wants to do she really doesnt want to be bothered with her dad rigth now she never wants to go with him i sometimes have to force her but she doesnt like being around him or his girfriend
    LABELmeCUTE

    Comment by LABELmeCUTE (original poster) at 2:27 PM on Mar. 11, 2011

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