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I feel horrible...

just move out from my home because a big argument last night with my husband... i miss him still..., wish we can figure out something good for our family.
But is was starting to get kind of violent.
Someone there to hear me???.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:14 AM on Nov. 23, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • If it was starting to get violent, then you made the right choice... maybe it was the wake up call he needed.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 6:12 AM on Nov. 23, 2008

  • If it was starting to get violent then you definitely had to move out, however much you miss him, I know you would like all of you to a be a family, but a violent home is no place for a child to grow up in. I can understand you msising him but if I were you I wouldn't go back until he can prove he's changed. Good Luck with all of this! If you ever need to talk then pm me, I understand missing him but hold on honey, it'll all get sorted in the end.
    haleykarson

    Answer by haleykarson at 7:03 AM on Nov. 23, 2008

  • If you and your husband love eachother and know you want to be together then it's time to take the steps needed to change the things about your relationship that need to be changed. Obviously you can't be together if things remain this way. If you both understand that there are changes to be made and are willing to put in effort to make things right then things will become right. You need to find a good counselor to help you both learn the skills required for a good marriage. Marriage isn't easy like alot of people expect it to be.

    I'm not talking out of my ass. I've been there. On the edge of a divorce even. But my husband and I knew it wasn't right for us to be apart, it just wasn't right what was happening with us together either. We had to make alot of changes and learn alot of skills but now we have a better relationship than almost anyone I know.

    Good Luck <3
    CuZ-Im-tHe-BoSS

    Answer by CuZ-Im-tHe-BoSS at 7:06 AM on Nov. 23, 2008

  • I am worried about the violence. You should get counseling before even thinking of going back, and definitely never go back unless there is proof that he has changed, if he can. If he grew up in a violent home it may be a very long road.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 8:20 AM on Nov. 23, 2008

  • Violence is a horrible environment for both you and your children. You can love the man and not his actions. You have to do whats right for your children. Period. Children raised in a violent atmosphere are likely to become violent or be with men who are violent. Try getting some counseling through the domestic violence shelter, and call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or visit their website http://www.ndvh.org/ . There are alot of resources available to help you and your children. Stay strong and remember to ask yourself in 20 yrs would you want y our son or daughter in the same situation you just left? if the answer is no then youre decision to leave was right.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 8:40 AM on Nov. 23, 2008

  • I think you made a good decision if it was getting violent. No woman deserves to be put through that. But maybe it was a wake up call to him and he might regret how he has done and try to make things right. Just sit back and show him you mean business and he will most likely come back running .... (I know b/c I have tried it..) Hope this helps!
    ProudMommie87

    Answer by ProudMommie87 at 9:17 AM on Nov. 23, 2008

  • If you love him and want to work things out? Get counseling and have him take anger management classes. I would suggest individual AND marriage counseling. Do it while you are not living together for safety's sake. If you find that things are going well, WAIT before you move back in together.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:45 PM on Nov. 23, 2008

  • It's never easy leaving your home and once things die down it's easy to think all will be well and just go back but please remember that once violence begins it will escalate. Right now YOU are in control. Tell him to get help or you are not coming back. Show him you mean it or you have lost your creditbility and control of your life. Stay strong. Make him prove himself. You can work this out but don't be hasty in going home. Stand your ground. this is your life and your family you are wanting to save. They are worth fighting for and working for but it takes a bit of time. Don't try to hurry it bc you are homesick. Call the DVS and get things started with counseling.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:14 PM on Nov. 23, 2008

  • Thanks everyone!!.
    You all help me feel a little bit better about this situation.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:47 PM on Nov. 23, 2008

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