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Is this proper punishment? What would you do?

I just found out that my dd had to sit on a playground curb for all of her recess yesterday for something out of her control. They sent home papers for parent teacher conferences that had to be signed and sent back in. We got them on friday and the school did not put a return by date on them. Yes I should have had them back sooner, but given the amount of sick kids and everything else in my house and that the conferences are 2 weeks away the paper did not get sent in till today. What does this have to do with my dd and recess? The paper that her mother had to sign and fill out is why she was left on the curb to watch everyone else play. I understand sitting out is a good form of punishment when a kid is acting up, not doing homework, what have you. Why is it ok though for her to be punished over this? This was not her fault this was mine. Why did they not call me? They call when they need parents to do everything else, and no they do not call all the parents they call me and about 3 other moms who basically are the designated school volunteers. They knew my other 2 children have been in and out of the Drs all week due to sickness. And even my other kids had not been sick why punish the kid for the parent not returning a paper? I am very upset right now. She was not the only kid this happened to either there was apparently a lot of kids made to sit out all recesses until their parents send the papers in. Is this ok? Why punish the kids help when it was the parents fault? I am willing to admit I screwed up I should have sent the paper in sooner, but this was not her doing kids can not control the parents so why punish them for their parents actions? Am I wrong to be mad at them for this?


Asked by Anonymous at 9:38 AM on Mar. 11, 2011 in Parenting Debate

This question is closed.
Answers (24)
  • "but it only takes once for them to get the message when the teacher says return it tomorrow, they are on me until I get it signed and in their folder."

    There was nothing on the paper that said "Return by this date". When you give a second grade child a form that they need to have returned by a certain date, then that date needs to be written on that form. You can't just tell the children "This needs to be returned by..." and expect them to remember it without it being reinforced by having it written down. Putting a child in a "time-out" situation for something like this isn't going to help them learn to remember. It's just going to confuse them. "What did I do wrong? I gave the paper to my mom to sign, and she turned it in today. Why am I in trouble? I didn't know it was supposed to be in earlier than today."

    Answer by makelineerror at 11:56 AM on Mar. 14, 2011

  • Go in and talk to the teacher and hear her side of it. Then, let her have it for being ridiculous. I have forgotten to sign things for my dd once or twice, but she has never gotten in trouble for it.


    Answer by krissyvelazquez at 9:41 AM on Mar. 11, 2011

  • I agree that it was not appropriate. If all the information on return dates wasn't given it would be easy to pass over. It's not right to punish the child for the error of the parents.

    Answer by Nonoluna at 9:43 AM on Mar. 11, 2011

  • That is what they do and it pisses me off!!!! They punish the kids as a way to get their point across!! i have gone up to the school s several times and I have told them if u have a problem with my kid then u call me! They said it is her/his responsibility! I said hell no it's not! It is the adults job not the kids! U did not put a return by date on it! I will take this to the principal if this happens again! To me it seems schools changed for the worse! if the teachers r mad at the parents,they take it out on the kid. Totally wrong! I am so glad that my kid is done with school!!!!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:46 AM on Mar. 11, 2011

  • If there was no return by date, NO ONE should have been punished, because NO ONE did anything wrong. I agree you need to let the teacher explain what happened, but if your child was punished for you not signing something with no return by date, you need to make it clear to everyone involved, teacher, principal, maybe even superintendent, that this is unacceptable, and all the children and their parents deserve an apology.

    Answer by SWasson at 9:48 AM on Mar. 11, 2011

  • They probably assumed that you didn't return it because she didn't give it to you. I would go in and ask the teacher why she made your daughter sit out. Make absolutely sure that it wasn't for something else that either your daughter isn't telling you or didn't understand. Once the teacher confirms this is why, I'd rip her a new one and then go to the principal and make clear that my child better not ever be punished for something that I did or didn't do again, and that in the future, they had better call me if they need something from me.

    Answer by wendythewriter at 9:49 AM on Mar. 11, 2011

  • That is pathetic and sad. None of those kids made to sit on the curb for this reason should be. If i were you i'd be up in the principals office today. and if the principal supports it, i'd head over to the superintendents office. That punishment is just that...punishment. it is cruel, embarrassing and ineffective. what purpose did it serve? that's the question i'd be asking them. If you let this go one, what's next? I would demand an apology, not to me, but to my kid. A parent not is not homework, it's NOT the child's responsibility. And if they were THAT concerned over it, you're right, they should have called you.


    Answer by boobarandbell at 9:46 AM on Mar. 11, 2011

  • As a teacher I have to say some parents will only come to or call the school when they felt their child has been mistreated in some manner. However you don't seem to be that parent. I do understand your being upset because I'm going through a similar situation with my son's school. They call me when he misbehaves or wrestles with other kids but when he got kicked in the head and had a giant red knot I didn't get a call or a letter. Go to the school and tell them just how you feel. There is always a way to scold someone professionally. So you go girl and stand up for your dd!

    Answer by KoolMom617 at 12:53 PM on Mar. 11, 2011

  • "Get over it! Getting the paper signed was her homework assignment. She did not get it done. If she would have brought you a pen and the form I'm sure you would have signed. If she did that and you did not sign well that would have been different and you should make it up to her. If it were a fieldtrip form not signed she would have been left behind at school. Is that the teachers fault too? "

    Most field trip permission slips have a "return by" date on them. This particular paper, according to the OP, did not. If you send a form or permission slip home with a young child that needs to be returned to the school by a certain date, then you need to have that date *clearly* written on that paper. Otherwise, there's a good chance that the date will be forgotten.

    Also, it seems to me that her daughter *did* in fact bring the paper to her. She forgot to sign it, which means it wasn't the child's fault, but the parent's. (cont)

    Answer by makelineerror at 10:42 PM on Mar. 11, 2011

  • That is Crazy! your DD probably couldn't even really understand what she was punished for! i would go in or call the teacher today!

    Answer by daisyb at 9:52 AM on Mar. 11, 2011