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The viewing was last year... vent

I am  going to a memorial at the end of this month. It is for my father. He passed last year but my Mom has decided that he needs a memorial on the day he passed a year later.

Well my Mom is planning all these activities like Disneyland while we are there, but she insists she is paying for the tickets. So I guess that is OK.

But she is also complaining about how much the memorial costs. Asking me what she should do. I'd offer to help but she says how all these people offer and she turns them down. She turns them down out of the fact they want to be thanked, so appearantly my mom wants the credit for the whole thing.

I also can't afford to help her at this time. My mini van needs to get the electric window fixed, the hatch back, check the door latches that have been sticking lately and general maintenance. We've been waiting months to get this done.

I am also going to hear about how my older sister bought some flowers for my father. But I simply can't afford the huge arrangment that they expect.

So I am thinking of turning down the offer to Disneyland and just hanging out until I have to be at the airport.

Plus my Mom's birthday is the day after I return home. So there is another, I hate to put it this way, but expense.

What should I do. I already have non-refundable airline tickets.


Asked by idaspida at 10:37 AM on Mar. 11, 2011 in Relationships

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This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • Since the tickets are non-refundable I would go. If your mom wants to pay for Disney then sure, why not?

    If you are concerned about the expense and unable to help out you could always call your mom and tell her that. "Mom, I know you wish someone would step up and help cover the cost of the memorial, but right now we just can't afford that. We are really stretching it with the plane tickets and can't do any more." If she can't accept that then she has some issues of her own.

    Answer by angelmommy11 at 10:42 AM on Mar. 11, 2011

  • im sorry about your loss but i dont know what to tell you i hope it all works out for you

    Answer by Ricanmami1 at 10:40 AM on Mar. 11, 2011

  • wow this sounds so stressful I hope everything works out. maybe you can talk to your mom and let her know about your situation. it is her choice too on what she has decided you should not feel burdened that you can not help financally. god luck and im sorry about the loss of your father

    Answer by ChanQ at 12:12 PM on Mar. 11, 2011

  • Thanks. I am terrible when it comes to talking to people. But I will give talking to her a try.

    Comment by idaspida (original poster) at 10:45 AM on Mar. 11, 2011

  • You could find out the names and contacts of the people that want to help her. And get them all to pitch in some money and stick in in an envelope and put in her mail box. if she doesn't know where it came from, she can't give it back.

    Answer by TiffanieK at 10:55 AM on Mar. 11, 2011

  • Good idea.

    Comment by idaspida (original poster) at 10:57 AM on Mar. 11, 2011

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