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need adivce confused husband's army & 2 kids. now don't start feeling sorry for him because i was in the military.

he refuses to seek help says he doesn't need it. we have our problems. together 8yrs, married 7. left him briefly 4yrs ago.during that time got involved in a local/long distance relationship for 3 1/2 yrs.i love for both men. the other man is married too.thinking about my life am i with who i'm meant to be with & not who i'm suppose to with??? or am i with who i'm suppose to be with but not with who i'm meant to be with???tried talking to husband for yrs but no luck won't seek help says he loves me more than anything in the world & do anything for me. many things happen during 8yrs. was going to end marriage months ago but he was getting deployed & was about to have a baby & i didn't want more drama. i want to end it but he is still deployed for 8 more months & i do still love him. he's on a 15 month deployment & his first. staying for love but a person can only take so much. staying 4 kids a bad reason but more to that reason. what do i do.

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Asked by Anonymous at 2:03 AM on Jul. 9, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (3)
  • by the way i'm 25 he's 29 and our kids are 7 months and 5 yrs old

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:06 AM on Jul. 9, 2008

  • i used to think dr.phil was soooo stupid, but i've grown up a lot since i've had my kid and since its on during the day i watch it since i'm home. anyway.... he says the only time you are %100 ready for divorce is when you can walk away without looking back. if you're still in love maybe you guys can seek some counsling and try to get back on track. hes probably really stressed from being in the military and having to deploy and i know how stressful that can be on the relationship because my husband is in the army. you start getting lonely and the bad seems to outweigh the good. just make sure you are ready!! good luck

    Answer by scarletsm0m at 2:36 AM on Jul. 9, 2008

  • I think you need to take this time of him being gone to refind yourself. First - if you are ever going to focus on your family, you need to end this relationship with this other man...even if it is only via emails or phone. STOP. Then, find help somewhere for yourself. You do need time alone. You need adult time with friends. Do you have family near that can assist you occasionally with the children? Go to counseling yourself. I know firsthand after 13 years of marriage that it takes work and focus. For the sake of your children, try to find yourself and reconnect with their father. Good luck!

    Answer by MamaDiane at 9:20 AM on Jul. 9, 2008

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