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How can I help my daughter be more social?

She's very shy! Five years old. At school she will only play with others if they ask her first. Otherwise she will just sit by herself. Any advice please?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:33 PM on Mar. 11, 2011 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (14)
  • You should make an effort to make friends with the other parents and set up play dates with the most interactive children. My daughter is very social and most of her friends are shy. Once they play with her for a while they become more outspoken and social.

    Answer by TiffanieK at 12:35 PM on Mar. 11, 2011

  • My child was the same way. Set up play dates outside of school with a friend or two. Have the parent come and you can get to know them as well. Your child will see you interacting with others and that could give her ideas as to how social bonding works. Also, sometimes the school environment can stress kids out. That is what happened with my child. There were sooo many rules that she was afraid to be social. We had one or two friends come play at our house or met them at the park and she was a completely different kid. Just model positive energy with meeting new people. Don't push her because it will only cause more stress to perform and she will probably shut down.

    Answer by IzzeAddy at 12:49 PM on Mar. 11, 2011

  • I got mine involved in after school stuff. She played softball last year and was never really that shy but was shy where maybe she wouldnt go talk to someone first. Once she started softball and found herself on a team she seemed to open up.

    Answer by gemgem at 12:50 PM on Mar. 11, 2011

  • Have you talked to her about it ?

    Answer by sstepph at 12:57 PM on Mar. 11, 2011

  • I signed my daughter up for softball. She she was able to get more practice socializing in an organized environment.

    My daughter is eight now and very social. Maybe too social.

    Answer by studentteach at 3:13 PM on Mar. 11, 2011

  • Go to church functions or sports maybe dance so she can meet other kids her age.

    Answer by Betutah at 5:16 PM on Mar. 11, 2011

  • Some kids are just shy, and kindergarten can be overwhelming. Just encourage her, keep working on social skills, but don't push too hard.

    Answer by KTMOM at 11:02 PM on Mar. 11, 2011

  • My daughter was very tall for her age and also very shy. It wasn't until she found things that she really liked that she began to open up. This did not happen by my trying to interest her in things that I liked. She could not seem to go up to a child and just play. She would ask them very shyly if they wanted to play, and she always got a NO. I think the other children could sense her shyness and most of all her vernability. She vetoed many things, brownie scouts, girl scouts, modeling classes, ballet classes. I tried everything I could think of, but didn't ever sit down and have a conversation about what she would really had an interest in. I was a single mother with 3 children, so it sounds very simple to me today, but it sure wasn't as she was growing up. She finally found basketball and that opened her up a bit.

    Answer by PatsyPlayPal74 at 12:50 AM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • After school activities! There are all kinds of structured group programs that are sure to peak her interest, where she can shine, discover her talents, and bring her out of her shell! I would expose her to a wide range of activities--ballet or tap classes, musical instrument lessons, gymnastics, cheering, Brownies/Girl Scouts, sports teams (check out your local Y)--swimming, karate, soccer, etc.

    I was a "lonely only" child and very shy too. I became involved in just about all of the activities I listed above, and naturally made friends who had the same interest and talents as me! You will also meet like-minded parents this way, and develop friendships too! So, it's a win-win situation for all! As a child the only "rules" I had to follow were to see a program through it's season/sessions, try my best, and have fun! If I decided I didn't like the activity/program, I didn't have to do it again. :o)

    Answer by LoriKeet at 8:37 AM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • get her involved in a kids group.

    Answer by CharityTipton at 5:23 PM on Mar. 13, 2011

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