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How do you think OVERINDULGENCE helps your child?

How many times does it take for your child to ask before you give in? Does your child have a screaming fit every time you go to the store because he/she is not getting what he wants?

This is related to all the Christmas overindulgence. We can more than afford to give our children all the material things in the world, but we choose not. One it does the child more harm than good and two, it does society no good.

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Alma_C

Asked by Alma_C at 11:24 AM on Nov. 23, 2008 in General Parenting

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Answers (11)
  • I don't give in to my child if he is screaming - ever. My two year old does not have screaming fits in a store because he wants a toy or some other item. He does occassionally cry at a restaurant so we have stoped taking him out to places where he can't move around and wiggle. Some places and environments are better for him than others. I don't tempt him by going down a toy aisle if our intention is not to get him a toy - other wise it is mean (IMO). Its like waving a candy bar infront of someone's face two inches away and then saying, ah but its not for you. I'm in a similar situation in that we can afford more than many parents for our child. My particular belief is that he gets only one gift from his parents and a stocking from Santa. His grandparents and additional extended family are great about coordinating so that he is not overwhelmed and gets more than he needs or should have.
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 11:44 AM on Nov. 23, 2008

  • I walk out of the store when they act like that and then they get nothing at all. If they are well behaved and have earned something then they get something small (like a candy or lip gloss or you get the idea under $5 item). For christmas I DO overindulge and feel NO SHAME in it. My kids are all born in the summer, and then get 3 times a year when I really go out and buy all their things. They dont really get much in between. So for christmas they get toys, clothes etc. Bdays same thing, and after taxes come back we go and buy family big ticket items (new games, tv etc).
    Plus normally we save all year for Christmas. It isnt something that just comes out of one or two checks. We have a christmas club savings account.
    In between though my kids dont really get anything. They know toys, clothes etc are for bdays, christmas and only special occasions.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:01 PM on Nov. 23, 2008

  • Well, my son normally doesn't have a screaming fit at the store...if he wants something i just say no. sometimes i'll let him play with a toy while i'm shopping (if i'm passing by the toy isle), but i'll put it back, cuz by then he's tired of it. I dont' really go shopping that often, though, unless i have to, cuz we have absolutely no money. Luckily for me though, my DS is really into Diego. I ran out of pull-ups last night, and had to run to wal-mart to get some. i got Diego pull ups, and he was content holding that because "OMG IT WAS DIEGO!" LOL.
    armywife43

    Answer by armywife43 at 12:03 PM on Nov. 23, 2008

  • I honestly dont see the problem in giving your kids things you can afford to get them. Some people go to college, work hard, buy a home and therefore are rewarded with a good paycheck. They do this so they can have a future, and have children, and support their kids and give their kids more then they had growing up. It seems to me in this day and age alot of people really look down on those more successive then others and thats so sad. We should WANT to do better then our parents and give our kids more then we had. That is the american dream last time I checked. To leave our kids with more then our parents left us. I have no shame whatsoever in saying my kids get more then I ever did growing up. I hope they learn to be successful from me and do the same with their kids.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:18 PM on Nov. 23, 2008

  • A kid who is handed anything and everything she wants will have a very hard time as an adult. I've seen this happen to lots of people - they turn down the job they are offered because it's too low or doesn't pay what they think they should make, they rack up huge debts trying to keep up the "gimme" lifestyle their parents taught them, they break their belongings (and other people's things) because they've never been taught to be careful - new things just appear to replace old ones.

    If the American Dream is to give our kids more than we ourselves had, then I will do so - I will try my best to save enough to put my daughter through school so she doesn't have to work 2 to 3 jobs while taking a full load of classes.
    Twenty years from now, she won't remember if she had 5, 10, or 20 presents this Christmas. She won't know if I spent $50 or $500. But she will know how much easier life is with a good education.
    kaycee14

    Answer by kaycee14 at 12:48 PM on Nov. 23, 2008

  • http://news.cincinnati.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20050925/EDIT03/509250307/1023/EDIT
    For ANON 12.18, here is an article for you.

    I so agree with you KAYCEE
    Alma_C

    Answer by Alma_C at 1:09 PM on Nov. 23, 2008

  • The American dream is about Life, Liberty and pursuit of happiness, nowhere does it talk about about overindulgent children, where they can't afford the lifestyles their parents have instilled on them, therefore still living at home at the ripe young age of 30. They can't get that job that pays them that six digit salary, that they are expecting right after college, because they don't feel like they have to work to get anywhere in life.
    Alma_C

    Answer by Alma_C at 1:12 PM on Nov. 23, 2008

  • Kids should not be given everything they want. Does that teach them anything? You can't buy love and respect. I think some of these hard working parents that bring home all the money are giving in a buying their kids what they want because they feel guilty that they aren't at home to spend more time with them.

    My job is to provide for my kids the essentials in life. Food, shelter, warmth, safety, clothing. Anything else that can be bought is "extra" and does not define how much I love them.
    ReneeK3

    Answer by ReneeK3 at 1:26 PM on Nov. 23, 2008

  • One of the things I choose to tell my children when they want something, especially when it's a toy that will only give them minutes of fun is. "I choose not to spend my money on that" Kids "want" a lot but I only get things I choose. Right now my boys want those hulk smash gloves and I dont want them to have them because 1 they will beat each other up 2 they will not want to play with them in two days then get bored with them. It simply that when you give into their wants you are doing more harm then good. They end up with sense of entitlement, yet do not work for what they get. If they want something at the very least make them earn it. Something that is age appropriate of course. Which a 2 can help you pick up the house, assist in doing dishes etc. Then they get something even better. I mean dont you feel good when hard work pays of and you get what you want. It;s no different with children

    perksmom

    Answer by perksmom at 2:36 PM on Nov. 23, 2008

  • My kids don't throw fits in the store. They know they will be in trouble when they get home and they won't like it. They ask once or twice if they can have something and that's it. They know they won't get it. Christmas...we spend between $50-$100 on each of them, many of those toys are joint gifts. We do not overindulge them. Giving your kid everything they want is not showing love and only breeds a spoiled brat.
    justanotherjen

    Answer by justanotherjen at 7:20 PM on Nov. 23, 2008

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