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My oldest son is so mean to me sometimes!

I have 3 boys and my oldest can be SO mean sometimes. He is from my previous marriage, but has an amazing relationship with my husband and his 2 baby brothers. Me too for the most part. But last night was so embarassing and I just wanted to cry. We went to dinner with some friends and their kids and he wanted to play some games, so I gave him $2 worth of quarters. He kept coming back for more (which I planned for and had plenty). But when I finally ran out, he acted as if I was the worst mother ever. Picture a 7-yr-old with a 14-yr-old girl's attitude. He was mad that he only got to play in the small sandbox, he was mad that I ran out of quarters, he was mad that the other kids got mac n cheese and he wanted to send his hot dog back and I said no. The other kids were so thankful to their moms and would win them rings in the little games and come back and say "I love you Mommy, here's a present for you." I just wanted to go home! I felt awful. His father is the same way with all this entitlement crap!

My 3-yr-old is always so loving, so I couldn't wait to get home to him. I dropped my oldest off at his dad's and rushed home to my other 2 boys. I feel guilty for feeling this way, but he is just a nightmare sometimes. At the end of the night, he was acting like he was mad at me! He is not always like this, but last night was especially bad. He is usually a good kid, but this isn't the first time this happened so I need advice badly!

 
Jeannie721

Asked by Jeannie721 at 2:58 PM on Mar. 11, 2011 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 11 (553 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • You need to speak to your son before these situations. If you know you are going to be in a place where this is a possible reaction, you need to be very clear with him. I have always pulled into the parking lot, parked the car and make the children sit still until they know the rules and what is expected. In this instance, I would have said, we are here, I have $2 of quarters for each of you, when it is gone, it is gone! If you get mad when they are gone, we can just leave. This is a treat, and we don't even hafta be here. It will probably take one time of leaving, and he will be so well behaved the next time, you won't hafta worry about it at all. Just be sure he knows your expectations and what is acceptable behavior.
    parajumper3

    Answer by parajumper3 at 3:11 PM on Mar. 11, 2011

  • He's only a little boy! Being disappointed and having a hard time dealing with that disappointment isn't him being mean to you.

    Do you honestly think the reason he gets angry or upset is to hurt your feelings? It sounds like he would benefit from a little patience and empathy. Those are skills he'll learn from watching how you respond to situations.
    UpSheRises

    Answer by UpSheRises at 3:10 PM on Mar. 11, 2011

  • well have a talk with him & say that you didnt appreciate how he was acting & if you like games then you have to play nicely & stop getting mad everytime you dont get your way
    Ricanmami1

    Answer by Ricanmami1 at 3:08 PM on Mar. 11, 2011

  • "His father is the same way with all this entitlement crap! "

    You mean Dad is expecting things too? Apples don't fall far from trees, unfortunately. He needs consequences. And you need to tell him that damned right, you're the meanest mommy in the world.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 3:10 PM on Mar. 11, 2011

  • I also agree with qdiamante, it is an honor to be considered the meanest mom ever.
    parajumper3

    Answer by parajumper3 at 3:13 PM on Mar. 11, 2011

  • You cannot give in to his every whim, he has to learn to accept a "no" from you without the hassle of his fit, he has been overindulged and is not learning to appreciate what he's got, he always wants more, so you got to teach him that sometimes less is more.
    older

    Answer by older at 3:14 PM on Mar. 11, 2011

  • It sounds like you have not taught him the meaning of respect and appreciation. A parent must draw boundaries and then those must be enforced. If he's never been disciplined for crossing boundaries or if none have ever been set for him, then he has abolutely no incentive to act any other way that the person you saw last night. That's the real him, whom you are going to see any time he does not 100% get his own way. It's not too late to teach him, but it will be much more difficult to do so than it would have been had you started sooner. So you should think about what the punishment is going to be for his behavior last night. You should get that firmly in mind, you should explain it to him in terms he can understand, and then you should carry it out. If he were mine, he would get a good old fashion spanking on his bare backside with the admonition that he could expect to receive another one should he ever do a repeat!
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 3:29 PM on Mar. 11, 2011