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2 Bumps

If a guy says...

If you dh says, when you are going through a divorce, the he still loves u and wants to be with u even after all the pain he is caused you... What would you do

he is saying he still loves u and u love him.
I am so confused. :(

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:18 PM on Mar. 11, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • That is tough, and im sorry you are goin thru this. Its hard to say what to do without the specifics of what happened to cause the divorce tho.
    parajumper3

    Answer by parajumper3 at 3:21 PM on Mar. 11, 2011

  • I guess I'd look at the reasons for the divorce. I wouldn't go through with it just to save my pride, I would be sure I really wanted to be done. Did you try everything to save the marriage?
    Orionsgirl

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 3:22 PM on Mar. 11, 2011

  • It means that you should have stayed and worked on the marriage. It takes a lot of pain for two people to truly become one, but I assure you it is worth every single tear that you or he might shed on the way to getting there.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 3:23 PM on Mar. 11, 2011

  • AaHe was unfaithful and lies about a lot. I diid try i gave him so many chances to change.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 3:25 PM on Mar. 11, 2011

  • What I personally would do would depend on a few factors. To name a few:

    How I felt about my husband overall? (taking the good the bad and the ugly into consideration)
    What was it he had done that had hurt me so much?
    Did he cause me pain once, or did he cause me pain multiple times?
    What was our marriage like overall? (was there more good times than bad, was there more laughter than tears, was there more joy than pain)
    What would my expectations be of him/us/marriage if we stayed married? What would his be? Are they close to being on the same page?

    These are the types of things I would have to take into consideration (and most likely many more if I sat and really pondered it) when making my decision.


    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 3:32 PM on Mar. 11, 2011

  • A good marriage is based on trust.And until he proves to you that he is trustworthy, don't reunite with him.You may always love him, but sometimes people have different ideas of what love is and the things you need to do for them.
    evelynwest

    Answer by evelynwest at 3:38 PM on Mar. 11, 2011

  • If he cheated during marriage, he is NOT going to change if you go back to him.
    grammawjo

    Answer by grammawjo at 3:47 PM on Mar. 11, 2011

  • Head games, mixed signals on his part, feeling guilty, remember what he did to you....I feel for ya you, ya must be torn when he says that to you... as you I am sure wish this situation never happened & maybe he feels the same also but only you can know best in your heart. GL
    sarasmommy777

    Answer by sarasmommy777 at 3:54 PM on Mar. 11, 2011

  • once a cheater, always a cheater.
    evelynwest

    Answer by evelynwest at 3:59 PM on Mar. 11, 2011

  • Two people may love each other but still not be good for each other. If being together causes more pain and stress than being apart would, apart is better. If he has shown a pattern of untrustworthiness, and not being able to trust him to be honest or faithful is going to cause you pain, you should proceed with the split. But if being with him is worth dealing with his established patterns in your marriage, and hence, likely repeating this behavior, then stay together.
    mandaday

    Answer by mandaday at 7:55 PM on Mar. 11, 2011

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