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What can I tell my friend to get her out of an abusive relationship?

My friend(coworker) has confided in me that her exhusband(which she is divorced from) is hitting her, and is also emotionally abusive too.He pushed her down in an Arby's parking lot and then belittled her in the Arby's dining room.I told her he will kill her and she can come to my house at any time to hide if she had to.Does any one have any suggestions?A coworker of ours was recently killed by her ex.I toldmy friend that I didn't want to see her meet the same fate.

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evelynwest

Asked by evelynwest at 3:45 PM on Mar. 11, 2011 in Relationships

Level 16 (2,667 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • that is so sad, i would try to encourage your friend to get into some counseling, She probally has no self esteem left and needs to learn to be strong again. Try to get her some help somehow, there are places that do free counseling too. be there for her as much as you can, sounds like you already are, she needs you right now.
    jenn4443

    Answer by jenn4443 at 3:50 PM on Mar. 11, 2011

  • Nothing. Sadly to say, there is nothing you can do to convince someone to leave their abusive spouse. It's a personal decision that one makes on her/his own. I didn't leave until I knew it in my heart that he would never change. You can't save someone who doesn't want to be saved.
    cecyh9

    Answer by cecyh9 at 3:50 PM on Mar. 11, 2011

  • If this guy is her exhusband why is she still with him?
    jilligan362

    Answer by jilligan362 at 3:53 PM on Mar. 11, 2011

  • they divorced legally but never really split up.I guess stupidity on her part.
    evelynwest

    Comment by evelynwest (original poster) at 3:54 PM on Mar. 11, 2011

  • try and build her up, don't call her stupid or weak, or anything of that nature, there are alot of reasons women stay with abusers, let her know that you are there for her no matter what she decides. If she does decide to stay with him, help her come up with an escape plan: packing money,clothes, legal documents in a bag and hiding it, incase she ever needs to get out quickly). Ither than that, you can't do anything to make her leave, also know that most woman go back to the abusive relationship an average of 7 times before they finally leave for good.
    gypsymama532

    Answer by gypsymama532 at 4:14 PM on Mar. 11, 2011

  • There is NOTHING you can say or do to help her ... she is willing to continue beinging a victim... I had to tell a friend of mine that I didnt want her calling me crying and telling me everything rotten her husband has done to her until she decides she wants to do something about it.
    TraceyLu

    Answer by TraceyLu at 7:05 PM on Mar. 11, 2011

  • sounds like you're doing the right thing,
    my question is, why is a ex husband hitting her? did she get back with him?
    you can't make her leave, but it sounds like you are doing the right thing.

    ItsMe89

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 8:55 PM on Mar. 11, 2011

  • so sad...
    smiley745

    Answer by smiley745 at 9:31 PM on Mar. 11, 2011

  • just give her support, not judgements. She will only leave when she is ready to face her victim mentality.
    NightOwlMama

    Answer by NightOwlMama at 9:50 PM on Mar. 11, 2011

  • Google "domestic abuse" and then click images and show her the beaten and beat to death photos of women who did NOT leave their abusers.
    vbruno

    Answer by vbruno at 12:13 AM on Mar. 12, 2011

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