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Am I making the right decision?

My son just turned 5 right before going into kindergarten. I mean literally right before. He turned 5 in August and just made it. I have been debating whether to keep him back a year. I had sent him to Preschool before going to kindergarten and he did improve quite a bit from going there but I know that he needed a little more time. So I decided to talk to his preschool teacher whether I should have him do one more year there or just send him to kindergarten and if needs be he can do kindergarten over. She told that it would be better that if he does need to repeat a year that kindergarten would be better. So I sent him and now that it is the end of the year I know that he improved a lot but he is still not up to where he should be. I talked with the vice principle and she said that she would talk with his teacher and go from there. Well today his teacher came up to me and said that it would be a good idea to keep him back. That extra year would be good for him plus he will still be in the same age group as everyone else.

Now that it is pretty much that he will be doing kindergarten again I can't help but feel guilty. I know what I am doing his right and will benefit him but still I can't help but feel guilty.

 Anyone else had to go through this?


Asked by jnb71584 at 4:53 PM on Mar. 11, 2011 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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Answers (21)
  • Don't blame yourself, your learning too! I kept mine back too his b-day is also in Aug. He's now in 5th grade and doesn't know any different. I'm glad I did what I did cause he still struggles a little, if I would have sent him ahead he'd really be in trouble! It's ok mom!

    Answer by anichols1 at 5:00 PM on Mar. 11, 2011

  • also if you do send him to 1st he might have to stay back later on and that would be really hard for him when he knows.. right now it is okay he doesnt really know the difference..

    Answer by 3HappylKidds at 5:02 PM on Mar. 11, 2011

  • Have you asked your son about it? Just something casual like, "What would you think about doing another year of K?" If he answers just as casually, you can be pretty sure he would be ok with it. But if he is already talking up first grade or moving on with his friends, you might want to find a tutor or a summer program to get him caught up enough to move on in school. You know your child & you know what is best for him.

    Answer by SaraBeth1204 at 5:05 PM on Mar. 11, 2011

  • my son turned 5 2 days before the deadline... he never went to preschool. during open house his teacher told i should wait another year but he is so young.. he started school 7 days after his birthday...anywho.. she also said that if he isnt adjusting well to pull him out. i refused to listen... he is doing just fine in school..

    a lot of kids go through kindergarten again, you don't need to feel guilty at all. its okay. sorry you have to go through this. its up to you if you want to keep him back.. if he is doing the bare mimumin that it is okay.. but it is still your call.

    Answer by 3HappylKidds at 5:01 PM on Mar. 11, 2011

  • I would say he is ready. My DD turned 5 right after, so I couldn't get her in - Oct 10th. So she went to pre-school at the age of 5 and was the oldest one there. Although I think it did help her, since you already sent him to pre-school, he should be ready.

    Answer by isaboo22 at 5:53 PM on Mar. 11, 2011

  • Yes, I've gone through a very similar situation and keeping my daughter back was absolutely the right decision. She's done much better since then. I think if I'd sent her on, she would have continued to fall further and further behind.

    Answer by vicesix at 8:11 PM on Mar. 11, 2011

  • I have decided that I will be keeping him back. I had problems in school and always felt behind everyone else and hated school. I know that everyone is different and he might not be like that but I would rather send him to the next grade when he is ready and I just don't feel like he is ready yet. Plus his teacher agrees with me. She says that he is very smart but yet he is still young and having him repeat will help him.
    Thanks ladies for your comments. I know I am not the only one but it helps to hear others thoughts on the situation rather then just imagining what other people think.

    Comment by jnb71584 (original poster) at 8:43 PM on Mar. 11, 2011

  • I went through the same thing last year. My sons school as a T1 program that is inbetween kindergarten and first grade. They review kindergarten and also do the first grade work. I am glad he took this class because if I had sent him to first grade they said he would just fall farther and farther behind. I still feel very guilty though... I should have studied with him more... started teaching him to read and write sooner... ect ect ect. and thats with 4 class rooms full of kids in the same program. Just remeber u are still a good mom, you are doing what is best for your son, and if you weren't worried about what u could have done differantly you wouldn't be a good mom.

    Answer by kadensmom04 at 9:57 PM on Mar. 11, 2011

  • No worries. It will be for the best. As long as you put love and consideration into a decision you have nothing to feel guilty about. You can only do what you think will be best. Remember no one has a crystal ball and can predict the outcome. You just keepoving forward with what you know now and with the information you have now. He will be fine - no one needs a crystal ball for that. He has a mom who tries and cares - an important factor in his future sucess.

    Answer by frogdawg at 10:46 PM on Mar. 11, 2011

  • You just have to do what is your guy feeling.

    Answer by KTMOM at 11:02 PM on Mar. 11, 2011