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Do you not love one of your children? Why?

Mom would tell my sibling that I would never amount to anything when I was only 8 (and I was a st-A stdt). She never wanted to hug me - she would push me away- I learned that at 6. She never has loved me. Why would a mother not love one of her children? Do you ever feel that way toward one of your children? Why?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:42 PM on Nov. 23, 2008 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • There are some parents who never do feel connected or feel any type of love for a paticular child but still feel a connection to other children in the family. There are many reasons this could be and none of them have anything to do with some fault of the child. It still doesn't make it less painful to know that as an adult who has a parent that is unloving towards them. One reason I have seen (just one example) is a mother who had children too early in life. She resented her oldest daughter because her daughter was experiencing things as a child and tween that the mother couldn't and never did. Her daughter was also too much like her and the mother didn't love herself - so therefore did not love her child. There are tons of possible whys....but the real issue is knowing it is time to move past it and begin your life excepting the love of others.
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 8:51 PM on Nov. 23, 2008

  • Obviously she was messed up in the head. I love all my children and would gladly die and make a fool of myself for any of them if it meant sparing them from any sort of pain. Now I also have teens and again I love them the same as ever, sometimes I dont LIKE the way they act or things that they choose to do. But I will always love them. I am sorry you went through that as a child. Sounds like your mom had serious issues with herself and took them out on you.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 1:46 PM on Nov. 23, 2008

  • No, I would never do that to either one of my daughters. They are uniqe in their own way. Have you ever asked your Mom why she did that or to find out what could have caused such anger.Sounds like a lot of anger on your Moms part that came over to you.
    Kat122

    Answer by Kat122 at 1:53 PM on Nov. 23, 2008

  • Totally agree with gemgem. I am so SORRY you had to endure this! I am sure it must still affect you in your adult life! maybe you reminded your mother of a relative that she couldn't stand. I know that she must not have been in her right mind, or spiritually sound either. I absolutely LOVE each one of my kids and would walk across the world to get to them if they needed me. There is nothing I would not do for any of them, and I cannot imagine feeling anything but absolute LOVE towards each one of them.
    Aprilmorgans

    Answer by Aprilmorgans at 1:55 PM on Nov. 23, 2008

  • Your mom has mental problems. My mom is 40 and has never been sober for 6 strait months of my life. She can't hold a job, and dropped out in 8th grade. She was always just a buddy to em and would come in and out fo my life all the time, or steal me away from my dad. I went to 13 schools by 6th grade because of her instability. I decided I won't bother asking her why my brother and I aren;'t enough moticvation for her to act like an adult. I bet you don't want to ask your mom either. Advice? Leave it alone. She will act oblivious or will just not have an answer for you. I would just try to move on. Some people were never meant to have kids....
    20sumstepmom

    Answer by 20sumstepmom at 2:24 PM on Nov. 23, 2008

  • I can feel your pain. My mom never hugged me and never told me that she loved me. I mean never! She even told me that she wished that she never had kids. That hurt my feelings as a kid and it put me through a lot of depression, but you have to take the bad and do good. I hug my kids all the time, I tell them that I love them very often and I let them know that I am so glad that I had kids. As a result, my kids are very happy kids. You have to learn from her mistakes and be the best mom you can be.
    my_jasnkiki

    Answer by my_jasnkiki at 2:39 PM on Nov. 23, 2008

  • If your heart feels you should send a card then do it..It will help you feel better to. As for the ladies I am sure they understood with the dog and all. Happy Thanksgiving!
    Joyo4

    Answer by Joyo4 at 3:35 PM on Nov. 23, 2008

  • i would learn from her my mom was the same and i make sure even if i am disiplining my daughter that i tell her i love her and never tell her no when she wants a hug or kiss. My mom was stable and provided for us, but would lie and make exuses when her daughters wanted to snuggle or a hug or kiss. Its crazy usually its the child who doesn't want the parent to hug and kiss them.
    Cherish050307

    Answer by Cherish050307 at 3:46 PM on Nov. 23, 2008

  • I know all too well how you feel. My mom did the same with my younger brother and still does to this day. Please pm me anytime if you'd like to talk.

    LovingParent08

    Answer by LovingParent08 at 4:07 PM on Nov. 23, 2008

  • Honestly I cant imagine not loving my children. I'm sorry your mother was so cruel. It is obvious she has some issues. I have always believed the only better way to know how parents than knowing what to do is knowing what NOT to do. You are a great mom becuase you know the pain of not having a goo dmom
    humaniterian87

    Answer by humaniterian87 at 8:55 PM on Nov. 23, 2008