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2 Bumps

What do you do when your best friend for 18 years tells you she doesn't like your personality?

Recently my friend informed me via text messages and messages on facebook that she thinks I am too serious for her and that she is uncomfortable around me. She has thought this for several years now. We have been friends since middle school. She and my sister were also supposed to throw me a baby shower. Now we haven't spoken in over two months and my sister just found out. I really don't have many(or any) close friends any more. I still see her on occasion. How am I supposed to react to her now?

 
laceyharris

Asked by laceyharris at 11:10 PM on Mar. 11, 2011 in Relationships

Level 5 (66 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • i dont know! how weird though! i guess just go on like it is and try not to beg for her friendship back since she feels that uncomfortable around you. IF she misses you as a friend, she will come back and accept you
    americansugar80

    Answer by americansugar80 at 11:15 PM on Mar. 11, 2011

  • I am sorry. I had problems with my best friend. She told me that my life was not going anywhere and that I was worthless. About after a year she called me one day and said she was sorry and she didn't mean it. I made peace with her cause I have known her since we where both 4. I hope the same outcome happens to you, hopefully she realizes that you are a great person and friend like mine did.
    charmd18

    Answer by charmd18 at 11:20 PM on Mar. 11, 2011

  • LaceyHarris, 18 years is a long time to invest one's time and energy into a friendship. To know someone that long, it's almost like you're sisters. Even sisters have their differences now and then. What I would do is point blank ask why she feels that way about you. I would ask if there was anything you said or did to offend her, what makes her think your too serious, what exactly it is that makes her so uncomfortable around you. I have a best friend of 17 years now and sometimes we don't see eye to eye on different matters. If there is ever a time that either I offend her or she offends me, we are quick to forgive any offenses and then move on. We don't hold grudges for past offenses either. So I think that's why we've been friends for such a long time. LaceyHarris I hope you are able to work out any misunderstandings with your friend. Best of luck.
    blogmom

    Answer by blogmom at 11:28 PM on Mar. 11, 2011

  • Wow, so she just decided this after 18 years? I think I would have asked her why she didn't discuss this with you privately instead of online. Then, I'd probably never speak to her again. That sucks.
    m-avi

    Answer by m-avi at 11:13 PM on Mar. 11, 2011

  • I am having a situation with my sister right now. I am trying to tell her about some faults of hers that I do not like. She is causing my stressful life to be more stressful. That is not something I need around. We have had very looooong emails all day. She is not listening. She cannot see her own faults. Maybe this is what your friend is saying. "I don't like this about you, and I am not sure I want to continue our friendship if you don't check your faults a litlle"
    I may be wrong, but this is how I see it based on what I am going through right now.
    dancinintherain

    Answer by dancinintherain at 11:23 PM on Mar. 11, 2011

  • so after years, this woman has just now told you this?
    boy if that's the best job she can do of communicating I feel sorry for her husband! (assuming shes married)

    I guess the best thing you can do it let her go, but you have every right to be hurt.
    No matter what it is about you that she found faulty, she's the one that was wrong to be dishonest all this time.
    and worrying about hurting your feelings is no excuse
    ItsMe89

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 11:28 PM on Mar. 11, 2011

  • Danciintherain, my fault is that I don't joke around as much as she would like me too. That is the only reason she gave me.
    laceyharris

    Comment by laceyharris (original poster) at 11:29 PM on Mar. 11, 2011

  • Ask her, "Um okay, then if you hate my personality so much then how have we been friends for the past 18 years?!?!"
    lashes325

    Answer by lashes325 at 11:43 PM on Mar. 11, 2011

  • Well, thats her choice...guess she doesnt want to be pals. Because your serious??? odd reason to not like someone.
    Mom2Ladybug

    Answer by Mom2Ladybug at 11:50 PM on Mar. 11, 2011

  • i can tell you i have a friend whos a total B! And i tell her. we use to hang out all the time now we rarly speak but were still really close. And i love her to death. sometimes space is the answer.
    minki111

    Answer by minki111 at 11:52 PM on Mar. 11, 2011