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Having someone watch your child

Every friend of mine except 1 has someone watch there child through out the day or night or even a full 24hrs. Im 22 and have a 5 month old daughter who has been left with my m-i-l one time from 8am to 12pm. so 4 hours so i could go to court. Other than that no one else has taken her and i have not left her with anyone beside my bf(her daddy). We have both had appointments at the same times and important financial appts that both of us had to be at. We have to take her. we do not have the luxury of someone to watch her. And yes it is a luxury. I dont see how my friends leave their children with someone so they can go out and party. (they do it at least twice a week). Then complain of how stressed they make them or how they miss them so much. Im a full time mm and love it. I depend on my bf for everything. And to top it off our car was stolen so we havent had a car since my daughter was born. The bus is one great adventure. we take the bus at least 4 times a month to get food and our necessities. our town is so small and we dont have anything real close. our bus rides take 1 1/2 hrs. So for those who do get lots of help i hope you apprciate it and thank those people who help.

How do you feel when you leave your child with someone?

Answer Question
 
minki111

Asked by minki111 at 12:18 AM on Mar. 12, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 13 (1,198 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • Ok, i don't know if you meant to, but you came off as really self-righteous in this 'question.'
    metalhealthmom

    Answer by metalhealthmom at 12:21 AM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • What's your question?
    AllAboutKeeley

    Answer by AllAboutKeeley at 12:24 AM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • i guess i was venting more
    minki111

    Comment by minki111 (original poster) at 12:25 AM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • The tone I got from your message was sadness. It sounds like life is tough for you right now. I'm sorry your car got stolen, and I'm sorry you don't have anyone close to you to help out when you need it. It sounds like right now you're making a lot of sacrifices.

    You're right-- being able to have some alone time is a luxury. But I firmly believe that every person needs it-- whether it's alone from the spouse, alone from the child, or alone from their friends. It's kinda like the oxygen mask instructions-- you need to take care of yourself before you can take care of someone else-- so get that mask on before you pass out.

    Good luck!
    Busimommi

    Answer by Busimommi at 12:29 AM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • It definitely is a luxury. And as Busimommi said, it's also often needed. I've been a SAHM for 3 years now, and I've had a lot of difficulties with my son - just because I welcome the idea of someone else watching him for a couple of hours here and there doesn't mean I love him any less. Being a parent is a hard job, and just like any job, breaks help take some of the edge off so we don't go crazy. Sure, some people can go with less breaks, some more than others.
    phoofy

    Answer by phoofy at 12:33 AM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • Everyone is different. I can count on one hand how many times my Son been babysat by Family/a friend..and after that one time with that friend, I only trust Family. Anyway..it's easier for some because they don't have a reason to not trust people like my Husband and I do.
    -AJ

    Answer by -AJ at 12:34 AM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • I'm always a bit uncomfortable when I leave the kids with anyone. They went to daycare every weekday for almost 4 years and I always worried about them. It had nothing to do with the provider or the facility, both of which I checked out thoroughly before placing them there.
    The kids have no idea about my worries, I keep that kind of stuff hidden from everyone, but I do worry.
    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 8:31 AM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • I don't anyone to watch my kids and never really have. We lived with my dad for most of the last 10 years but he refused to babysit for us unless it was an emergency (as in we were going to the ER or something). Until the last 2 years and then he would watch our youngest at the time (then 3-4) while the other kids were in school. But I also don't fault people with the luxury. They are lucky. One of my best friends had her dd at 17 and her parents watched the baby every other weekend or so so she could go out with her friends. I never saw anything wrong with it (sometimes it was every weekend). She knew she still had to get up with her in the morning so didn't party too hard. Now I live 2000 miles from family and our 8mo goes every where with us. My older kids (10, 9, 8 and almost 5) stay home alone sometimes but the baby is always with us. It doesn't bother me to leave them, though. I need the break.
    justanotherjen

    Answer by justanotherjen at 2:04 PM on Mar. 12, 2011

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