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Do I have a right to be upset (sorry it's long)

A few days ago my husband went to go see a female friend. This female friend is one that he knows i'm not very happy about him being friends with because of things that have seen. I don't like him being friends with her because when my husband and i were first together he once told me that he was attracted to her and she was the kinda girl he could see himself with if he wasn't with me. Since then his friendship with grew. He started to call her Goddess as his little nickname for her he would hug her every time he saw her even if i was there. He would always stand close to her. I've always had concerns that something could happen between my husband and this friend. I voiced my concerns a few times and my husband was angry with me and he told me that no matter what things wouldn't change. Every time my husband talks about this woman his face lights up. Well as i was saying he went to go see this friend. I asked him if i could with him and told me no. He told me he would be gone a few hours. He left our home at 12:30 pm. I texted him at 3pm asking if he was going to come home soon. An hour later i finally got a message back saying no. My husband ignored my phone calls and my text messages. Even the messages where i was telling him that our two year old son was asking for him and wanted to talk to him. Finally around 7:30 at night my husband came home. He didn't come see when he got home it wasn't until an hour later when i came downstairs to get something was when he talked to me. I was upset about him not talking to me all day and the fact that he was gone for so long and because he was gone for so long with this friend. I asked what they did. Come to find out they spent most of the day in the care driving around. And he took her to the olive garden for dinner. (the one place my husband keeps promising to take me on a date but has yet to do). He won't tell me anything else that they did. He doesn't understand why I'm hurt by his actions. I keep saying he went on a date and he doesn't see that. He keeps saying I'm over reacting. I'm finding it hard to trust him. I told him it could of been any other friend even another female and i wouldn't cared. It's the fact that he at one point (maybe still does) had feelings for this girl and the fact that whenever he was around her he would act different. He would light up like he used to when we were first together. He talks about her all the time. He is always hugging her and kissing her on her forehead and at work he would go out to lunch with her and not tell me about it until i saw our bank account. So am i over reacting?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:53 AM on Mar. 12, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (18)
  • They are more than friends.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:00 AM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • Hell no. What are you doing on the computer instead of tossing his stuff to the curb?

    If he wants to save this marriage, he MUST drop her and go to counseling. This s NON-negotiable. If he says no, you say GOODBYE. And lawyer up.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 1:00 AM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • No, I would be made too. It sounds like he might be doing more with his friend. If he loved you he would call you back. He should be spending your guys money on you and your baby, not some(friend)
    Kimberly71682

    Answer by Kimberly71682 at 1:01 AM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • I told him i wanted to bring it up in counseling next week (week have been going for about three weeks now) and he got mad at me and said there was no reason to bring it up cause there is nothing bad. I haven't been sleeping in the same room as him since that night. I just can't trust him. And when i told my dad about how my husband as been with this friend my father said it sounds like my husband is cheating on me and this is coming from a man who cheated.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:03 AM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • I am sorry to say you are witnessing a full blown affair. Your husband is having is cake and the frosting too and acting like a single man. I I don't know your husband, but he sounds like the husband of a friend of mine that had an affair right under her nose for many years. She looked the other way, I don't know why or how she managed to do this, but they are still married. Your husband is expecting a lot from you, but I don't think you will win any arguments with him on this subject. Ask him to go to marriage counseling and if he won't go, go alone...I will be thinking of you and praying for you.
    PatsyPlayPal74

    Answer by PatsyPlayPal74 at 1:05 AM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • Oh, he's cheating. No question.

    He's GONE.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 1:05 AM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • And I'm pregnant i'm about 17 weeks now and i have a very high risk pregnancy and this was something he wanted. He wanted to have another child. and after we found out i was pregnant he started to talk to this friend more. and spend more time with her and text her more
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:05 AM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • Guys know how other guys are. I think your dad is right. Give him an ultimatum to either drop her and nver talk to her or he moves out and you proceed with divorce.
    sweetpea1217

    Answer by sweetpea1217 at 1:06 AM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • Sounds like he is having an affair. Not only a physical one but an emotional one as well. She knows you two are married and continues this relationship with your husband, she is trash. I would start trying to figure out how you are able to do it on your own. He doesn't sound like he can be trusted. He is a liar and a sneak. He is spending family money on some other woman, taking her to places that he has promised to take you.... open your eyes, he is a cheater. I would not only bring it up in counseling but I would also confront this other woman. good luck.
    bcauseimthemom

    Answer by bcauseimthemom at 1:15 AM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • I definitely think he's cheating. could you have a talk with the girl? Not an argument just see what she says. Most homewreckers don't care to tell u the truth. I hope you find out what's goin on and can work things out with your husband and keep that friend out of you lives! This hurts my heart for you. I couldn't imagine seeing myhusband hug and kiss another girl! His butt would be gone!! Ths pretty messed up he's puttin u through this while your pregnant s well ): hope thing get better for you!
    EheartsZ07

    Answer by EheartsZ07 at 1:19 AM on Mar. 12, 2011

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