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What's the polite way to say visit the hospital but please not for 12 hours?

So my DH and i are expecting another baby in november we can't wait since our children will only be a year apart :) so my question is when my daughter was born my MIL SIL and her boyfriend all came to the hospital which was great i was hoping to have company.......only thing was they never spoke to me they just sat in the room and talked extremely loudly and i had just had a C-section so i was tired wanting a relaxing environment and to make things worse they told me no when i asked for privacy when a nurse would ask to examine my incision or try and show me how to breast feed (My SIL's boyfriend i had only met once). As if that wasn't bad enough DH and I were told our daughter was going to have to stay in the hospital so after i asked for a few minutes for my DH and i to be alone they threw a fit and said i was selfish and if i didn't want them here they wouldn't come back.....................So how can i say i would love for them to meet the baby but not move into the hospital with me again?

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krissii

Asked by krissii at 1:29 AM on Mar. 12, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 15 (2,127 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • Are you having a c-section again? Tell them it's scheduled for the day after if you are. Or later in the day from when it is to give you time to be a family.
    Vix920

    Answer by Vix920 at 1:32 AM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • Don't tell them the date. Dad can call after. After you get home again. Make the doc the bad guy: "They said no visitors because ofthe way I reacted to the local/meds/etc."
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 1:37 AM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • I would just be up front, tell the fam that the time AFTER you get the c-section done is a precious time that you would love to share with your hubby and new baby. ask them to come later in the day, or in the days following. It may hurt there feelings but you can make arrangements with the staff to prevent visits for a certain amount of time.

    krazi_beautyful

    Answer by krazi_beautyful at 1:38 AM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • Well you can either be honest, of have the nurses be the "bad guys" for you. The family cannot say no if the nurses ask them to leave, so if you tell the girls ahead of time that when you give the signal, you want everyone out of the room, they will ask everyone to get out. If they don't want to, well then security can come remove them. Personally though, I would just be honest. Wait until you are ready for visitors before DH calls his family to announce the baby was born. And when you are ready for them to leave, tell them you are tired and want to go to sleep so everyone needs to come back another day. If they give you a problem again, call the nurses. You shouldn't be intimidated by these people. Don't let them walk all over you or they will continue to do it forever.
    Ash9724

    Answer by Ash9724 at 1:44 AM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • Nurses can take the blame for you. You can tellt he nurses that you prefer no visitors and they will get them out of the room for you.
    sydash11

    Answer by sydash11 at 2:03 AM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • When you go into labor just don't call anyone. Wait until after the birth, maybe even when you're back home even.
    doulala

    Answer by doulala at 3:00 AM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • Something like that would make me not want them to even come the second time! But if you want them there, have them come. If something like that happens again, you ask for privacy and they say no, I would tell them that I wasn't ASKING, I was telling them that I need privacy right now, so please leave the room. Ask when their next doctor appointment is, and when they ask why, tell them you need to know so you can plan your schedule to be able to be there, and in the room, during THEIR exam!
    Krysta622

    Answer by Krysta622 at 9:03 AM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • I dont like selfish people. If you wanted privicy than you shou\ld havegotten it. But next time you can ask the nuse to only have you be allowed a certain amount of visiting time. I know that you guys want that special bonding time with your baby alone.
    BUTTERFLY463

    Answer by BUTTERFLY463 at 11:58 AM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • Thanks to everyone for answering .....if i had my choice after the heck they put me through last time i would tell them the baby was born after we got home but my husband wants them there may take your advice on having limited visiting hours
    krissii

    Comment by krissii (original poster) at 6:34 PM on Mar. 12, 2011

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