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Is it my fault?

My dh told me tonight that it was my fault that he doesn't have.a relationship with his mother. His mother doesn't come around at all or calls to to see how grandkids are doing. I don't know what to think i have mixed feelings and emotions im crying i guess its because im 22 weeks pregnant and emotional i just couldn't believe he said that. When i waspregnant with my dd i fell down the stairs trying to climb a gate that she put up so that her fucken dogs wouldn't pee and poop out of my bedroom door or in my bathroom because she refused to keep them outdoors. When my daughter was born and began to crawl she still refused to leave the dogs outside so that my daughter could crawl so i was in my room most of the time. He blames me when shes never come around he tells me that I should be taking the kids to her and don't take the kids over to her place and that why should she come over here.







 
morenarfr05

Asked by morenarfr05 at 3:34 AM on Mar. 12, 2011 in Relationships

Level 9 (317 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • You need to tell him that his mother makes her own decisions. She is an adult and you can not tell her what to do. He needs to know that she is a grown woman and that he needs to focus on his family and let her live her own life. If she doesn't want to make an effort to be apart of his new family then that is her own choice and it is not his responsibility to keep her happy.
    TiffanieK

    Answer by TiffanieK at 3:42 AM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • invite your momin law at weekend, forgiving and forgetting all the past history,u know why ?coz again ur pregnant ,and if again u will remain under stress and depression, that harm u and the babys' development, try to talk about things of her interest, perhaps this will help to break the ice! wish u all the best.
    doctormom2011

    Answer by doctormom2011 at 4:01 AM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • I don't understand where you're at fault... I'd hope you'd express your dislike with the dogs in the house during those times. I'm glad you and your DD are ok after that nasty fall during the pregnancy. In my opinion, it takes some willingness from both sides, when it comes to family visits. Why can't his mother come and spend time with the kids? Have a sit-down with your MIL and husband and voice how you feel. It's very important to keep things civilize for the grandkids sake.

    LanaisSky96

    Answer by LanaisSky96 at 3:50 AM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • Ash his mother why she doesn't come around. Then ask your dd what you could do to make things better between him and his mother. Tell him your not trying to make him unhappy. You want your children to know and love his mother as much as he does.
    Parka54

    Answer by Parka54 at 4:14 AM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • Tiffaniek is right, she's a grown woman and makes her own decisions. If she really wanted to see your babies then she would make an effort no matter what. I went through a similar situation with my ex's mom and my ex & actually for yrs I gave them what they wanted & I constantly walked on egg shells around them. I finally got tired of it & let them know that if they wanted to see their grandaughter/daughter then they need to be the one to come to her. That was almost 4yrs ago and I haven't heard from either one since then. It's sad for my daughter, but I realized & was told that in reality they never wanted a relationship with my daughter. They were just using me as an excuse so I was the one that looked bad. Don't torment yourself, you did nothing wrong & your husband needs to stand up for you and your babies.
    Hope4Teal

    Answer by Hope4Teal at 7:11 AM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • I'm. So upset i cant even sleep
    morenarfr05

    Comment by morenarfr05 (original poster) at 3:44 AM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • i agree with doctor mom
    ryahzMommy

    Answer by ryahzMommy at 6:02 AM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • It's not ur fault but I agree with doctor mom. Smoothen things out with ur mom in law cuz u need to be happy and relaxed during this difficult time. Ur kids need their grandma n ur husband also doesn't need friction b/w his mom and wife. If he's happy, u 'll be happy.
    momdoc2011

    Answer by momdoc2011 at 6:46 AM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • Call you MIL and tell her she is welcome to come over and visit the grandkids. As long as she does not bring her dogs.
    So you guys use to live with her it sounds like?
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 7:57 AM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • Yes we all moved together because she lost her home. The reason why i dislike her dogs was because they pee and poop all over the house and she has 5 dogs the peep and poop wouldn't get picked up sometimes all day and the house smelled. She used the kitchen towels to clean up pee wash them and used them on the kitchen. The reason why its so hard for me to attempt to start a relationship with her is because not only did she mistreated my older boys (they're not my dh kids) but she brought my dh ex into my home for beer and a smoke. I tried telling her when we still lived together that the problems of the adults should stay with the adults but she would ignore my dd to get back at me
    morenarfr05

    Comment by morenarfr05 (original poster) at 8:52 AM on Mar. 12, 2011

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