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12 Bumps

I dont like being a parent. (slight edit)

I think I finally realized that I don't like being a parent. DS is "babysat" by the TV/video games all day. I just don't want to DO anything, I guess. I'm really just a lazy, fat slob. When we do play, its all about guns, zombies, sonic, drowning (sonic can't swim), etc. While I don't have a problem with it, I don't want to play like that/hear things like that every day- all day. He gets himself breakfast and lunch now, as well as snacks, and drinks. I mean, he is a pretty good boy-- which AMAZES me since I'm his only parent and I've lacked more than I'd care to admit. (bio-dad is not in the picture at all).

the main reason i don't like being a parent is b/c i never had a parent... I don't know how to associate with someone on any level (never had a friend either) and that includes my child. When i was young; like 6 or 7, i emotionally cut myself off from everyone and now that DS is reaching that age, I'm doing the same with him, maybe thinking that he'll do it to me, so I'm protecting myself before he really hurts me...

Yes, my son is only 5 but he is treated and acts like a grown man. He plays black ops, left for dead, etc. He watches adult swim.

I just dont know how to be a parent! Simple things, i just dont know. he rarely sleeps; about 5-6 hours a night, no naps.. so if he goes to bed at 9, he'll be up by 2 and awake all night and the following day. do i put his bedtime further back to meet his needs? how to i change his habits into toddler needs (i know he needs more than 6 hours of sleep!)?

how do i change? how do i enjoy being a parent?! how do i stop cutting myself off emotionally from the only person who really needs me?! =(

 

EDIT: I wasnt meant to be a mom. I dont want to say that DS was a mistake, but he wasnt concieved.... willingly, I guess. I was just 17 years old when I had him, I'm against abortion and I really felt- still feel- that I can be a good parent. I just dont know HOW. I think I partially feel that this was my chance at letting my mistakes- my past- never happen again... Not turning into my own parents, not allowing a child end up in fostercare, etc. that my horrible history can aide an amazing future... my chance at giving a child something that i never had, in a way. =( I dont know. I feel like i'm making excuses, but at 17 years old, it sounded good... Even now, it sounds nice. I just dont know the actions to take, in order to fix my problems, as well as forgive and forget my past. (i want to forgive/forget emotionally cutting myself off, so it doesnt come into my future... does that make sense?)

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:18 AM on Mar. 12, 2011 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (43)
  • Counceling sounds like something you need. If you feel like this. You might want to not have anymore kids either. IMO
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 5:40 AM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • I think you should speak with a professional. I don't believe there's anything that any of us could say to repair what's going on in your life. Unless a mother whose been in your shoes comes along and shares her triumphant comeback. I'm sorry i couldn't be of any help :(

    LanaisSky96

    Answer by LanaisSky96 at 5:41 AM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • i agree with the ladies who have a;ready commented. even though im not a professional you can inbox me ands i can give u some pointers until you getthe professional help
    ryahzMommy

    Answer by ryahzMommy at 5:54 AM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • you say you don't want to end up like your own parents, so with that said, DON'T! Easier said than done, right? Well first you should start by talking with a professional, let all your past/current problems out. In the meantime, start focusing on yourself, and accept that you had this child. Instead of letting him do for himself, step up and be a parent FOR him. Engage in activities with him, he shouldn't be playing video games as you mentioned above, especially since you're not monitoring him. Those video games, such as black ops can and usually make a person violent, no i'm not saying they're going to go out and shoot someone, i'm saying when they don't win or something, they get mad. And there life tends to revolve around video games. He needs more emotional stability in his life, and a more comforting loving mom, no i'm not saying you're not that already, but from what you mentioned above
    -CONT-
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:56 AM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • -CONT-
    you can be an even BETTER one! It's not easy, but it's not hard as well, just to give your child the attention he may be looking for. Do you have any hobbies that you used to love to do? Bike riding? Going to the park? Coloring/making art? Crafts? Show those kinds of things to your son, show him that there's another life outside of video games and guns, zombies, etc....Maybe you can also exercise with your son, make cleaning up the house FUN. Here at my house we blast music, while dancing around when mommy or anyone is upset, because ultimately it puts us all in a better mood. Start exercising, it will increase your mood as well, and make you feel better about yourself. Cook your favorite meal, or your sons. I don't know about about, but when I see my child happy, laughing, and smiling, I'm a very happy mommy. And BTW - you WERE meant to be a mom, because you ARE a mom now. I wish you and your son ALL the best.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:01 AM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • Well said Anonymous (answer before me!!!!) And good for you, mom that posted the question! Your recognizing you need to change, right there is your" first step!" I'd say take baby steps, don't expect to change overnite , then you won't set yourself up for disappointment. By reading what you say, .you can see the things you need to change,I'd say that's your second step accomplished! Like others have said, if you can get professional help, do it for you and for your son, I think the moment you see your changing, even if it's the slightest little improvement, it's gonna inspire you to be better. I understand your childhood, "sucked",so has alot of others, but you have to realize your childhood does not determine who you are! That's whats so" great" about you, you have the power to change it, for yourself and your son!" Baby steps", just like I said, even if it's one thing a day,like making his lunch today. YOU CAN DO IT!

    anichols1

    Answer by anichols1 at 7:00 AM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • You sound depressed to me. If that's the case, I think your first step needs to be to get yourself to a mental health doctor and if necessary get on the proper medication. I'm sure if you get yourself into therapy you can resolve your past and what type of parents you would have hoped to have had and what type of parent you hope you can be to your son. Perhaps after that you can start taking some basic parenting classes.
    Syphon

    Answer by Syphon at 7:15 AM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • Can you send me a message, I'd like to talk to you about something!
    anichols1

    Answer by anichols1 at 7:24 AM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • This sounds like you need some sort of psychiatric help. Children normally sleep more than 6 hours, Theres a lot going on with you, younight be projecting your feelings onto yoy son. I suggest u seek help
    dubewife

    Answer by dubewife at 7:30 AM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • Sounds like depression to me. Seek a Dr's help. You dont EVER get to just give up being a mom because you dont like it. Suck it up cupcake. Seek a doctors help for your depression and TAKE A PARENTING CLASS! Your DS is the way YOU allow him to be. You let him play violent games and shooter games. How do you expect him to be?
    vbruno

    Answer by vbruno at 7:58 AM on Mar. 12, 2011

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