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3 Bumps

Is is normal not to miss him?

What to think.... I have been with my husband for 15 years 8 years married. He goes away for work right now but that will end soon. When he is away I dont feel the need to talk talk or text him... when he is home after a couple days he starts really buggin me,i do like his compay for lil bit we have fun , I like it when he leaves though.. I like it when he is away.

I havent told him how I feel I dont want to hurt him, but it is effecting me. I feel lik i am going crazy in my headis this normal or am i nuts lol

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:53 AM on Mar. 12, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (14)
  • Sounds like you don't love him anymore. If you've stopped loving him you need to tell him. My MIL pulled that with my FIL. she stopped loving him and just pretended she was still in love to not hurt him. When she finally left it killed him to know she not only stopped loving him but that she had lied about loving him for years. If you don't love him then don't lead him on, you'll only hurt him more
    momofone725

    Answer by momofone725 at 8:56 AM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • No actually it is pretty normal. My dad is a retired marine and my mom at first missed him alot, then as she got used to his schedule and him being gone she was like you. She is mad in love after 25 yrs for my dad too, but I think it is a defense mechanism because she does miss him alot, so its easier not to think about it. She told me lol when he does come home after a few days she is like wow hes home and I have things to do, and she feels like it messes up her schedule. Again normal. Life goes on when he goes to work and then having then back suddenly does screw up that independence we have to when they arent home.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 9:00 AM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder. But if there is more to it than that, you may want to talk to a marriage counselor, with or without him. GL
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 9:01 AM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • Only you know how you truly feel about the situation. If your husband is gone that much, you get set in your own ways and routine and being thrown off by a (in a sense) new house guest. Do you wish he wasnt there the moment he gets there? Or are you happy to see him the first even just 1 day? My husband is always gone, in fact, he leaves again for 4 months today. I love having him home for the first couple days but then I'm partial when he is about to leave. I like to know I can do what I want again and when/how I want to, but I do love having my partner in crime around. All I'm saying is...don't assume you are falling out of love. It may take awhile to get back into a routine again...with him home.
    CassiRae3

    Answer by CassiRae3 at 9:03 AM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • being an army wife and former flight attendant i know how seperation makes you turn into someone else. i missed my husband like crazy at first when i would fly out and overnight in other states or when he would go interstate for army courses or out bush for training but now its different. i still love him dearly but i do miss him , just not as much as i used to. i guess im used to it and i like actually having the whole bed to myself! :) its hard though with a 13 month old and your a full time student and part time worker.. i guess my busy schedule has made me neglect him in a sense. he knows i love him and i do so thats all that matters. as for you though, are you actually still in love with him? u guys have been together for ages so i think maybe its just youv been so into each others faces you need time out. hang in there theres nothing wrong with you. :)
    Weldo1983

    Answer by Weldo1983 at 9:07 AM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • i think it is normal. there are times when my hubby is around i am thankful he goes to work. but i also remember how depressing he was when was not working and how close we came to a divorce because he was so negative and down on himself that he made my life as mieserble as he could. now that he is working it is better. but i do like having times to myself. And yes I still love him. and at times when he is at work i miss him. like right now he is working and i am missing him. but i know he will be home later on.
    WildCat73

    Answer by WildCat73 at 9:08 AM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • Yes, it sounds normal to me. I agree with CassiRae3's response. However, it is affecting you in negative ways, seek the advice of a counselor. Talk to someone professional so you can understand your feelings better and put them into perspective.
    rosiemendo

    Answer by rosiemendo at 9:10 AM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • It's normal not to feel the need to be in contact with him every other hour while he's away. I don't feel that need while I'm away from my husband, but I love him very much. I just am okay with being apart from him and it's good for the both of us. HOWEVER, to not like him for very long while he's home isn't normal. To want him to go away or like when he leaves isn't normal. It sounds like you just don't have that connection with him anymore. Whether that can be brought back or not I don't know. All I know is you need to express your feelings to him and see how he feels. You two need to be honest with one another, especially if it's effecting you.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 9:32 AM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • My dad is an OTR truck driver and my mom doesn't sit around missing him, they usually bicker when he is at home but, they still love each other. It sounds normal as long as the bickering doesn't turn into fighting.
    matthewscandi

    Answer by matthewscandi at 9:39 AM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • I don't think it means you don't love him. My husband travels for work sometimes and I miss him sort of, but I'm also really excited to have 'me' time for more than 3hrs, lol. I feel like my husband needs more attention than my toddler a lot of the times. He asks me questions regarding everything in the house and I just want to scream 'if you took 5 seconds you could find this out yourself!' LOL.

    Also, when he gets home, I'm happy to see him...and then after a few days he's right back to driving me bonkers, lol.

    When you've been together awhile, I think the need for constant contact and conversation goes away, thank God...because hubs and I are running out things to say. Alone time makes that easier because we can actually find things to have a conversation about instead of saying "Remember that time..." Now it can be "Hey, guess what!"
    metalhealthmom

    Answer by metalhealthmom at 9:40 AM on Mar. 12, 2011

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