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3 Bumps

Sugesstions how to get through this day adult content

my child's father is planning on visiting her today
i left with my child October 1st, he visited once in oct, once in nov, i took her up there day after Christmas, and he has not seen her since dec 27th
nearly three months
and he only lives a little more than hour away

i am dreading today
we were never married, so i as mother have all rights until he takes to court and asks for time (which i will fight to only have supervised visits-long story=not me being mean to him-me being protective of her)

anything words that can help me get through his visit
funny things very appreciated too
put the yellow warning sign up, in case they wanted to use certain language



Asked by Anonymous at 9:02 AM on Mar. 12, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (13)


    You could find a good curse to put on him!!


    Answer by layh41407 at 9:10 AM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • Oh imagine him hurt that helps too lmao


    Answer by gemgem at 9:13 AM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • When my husband and I separated, my daughter was only two months old and when he came to pick her up and guess what? I went right along with them lol (We worked things out - in our marriage we got the worst before the better)

    My best friend handles her anxiety when her ex picks up her son by going out to get a mani/pedi, goes shopping or visits friends. If she stays home she takes advantage of being able to watch all the R rated movies/shows without having to hold the remote channel change button in case the little one walks in =)

    Answer by BabyJLoOnTheWay at 9:21 AM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • I always hated when my kids visited their dad LOL. As for your rights just so yo know married or not you both have the same rights to your child which means he can do whatever he wants until theres an order. If I were you Id type something up before dropping her off saying she is going to visit from whatever time to whatever time then picked up. Sign it and have him sign it. You can also draw up a custody order of your own and have him sign it and avoid court.
    As for getting through it. Its hard at first but try a movie if you can. Maybe go to lunch somewhere you normally couldnt with her. I always try to do things I might not be able to with them here. Today for instance I am going to see Battle LA with dh because my kids are not home.

    Answer by gemgem at 9:07 AM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • Sometimes the anticipation is worse than the actual event. But if you want some good laughs, armywife posted some gut-busters yesterday in the Just for Fun section. Plz look at those if you want a really good laugh! :)

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 9:20 AM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • he will not be left alone with her
    he will come to this house, i will be here whole time
    i will not allow him to be alone with her
    and in 48 of 50 states, if parents are never married, the mother has 100% rights, until father files in court for rights, of course he could just take her i guess, but mother has custody, placement 100% until father files (have spoken to several lawyers-all agreed onthis)

    Comment by fiatpax (original poster) at 9:29 AM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • Is he coming over to your house, or at least visiting where you can supervise the visit? If so, count your lucky stars on that one! One of my girlfriends is going through something similar with her 4 year old's father who was gone from the time he was a few months old, and just decided that while he is in felony non-support (NEVER paid anything), that he is his "father" and has "rights".

    She has allowed him to visit him in her home, but is being very strict about making sure he doesn't drop the words "I'm your daddy" LEAST until he has shown that he can be consistent in some way. At least when he is in her home, she can SEE what goes on, and has some say. Knowing this, she tries to make him feel "comfortable", just asking him if he wants a pop or wants to get a game out to play with their son, but she is hoping if he is comfortable doing this, she wont be sending her son off with someone she doesn't trust!

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 9:33 AM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • Married or not married you two were equal partners in creating that child so he has equal rights to her. I wouldn't wait for him to file anything. I'd do it before he goes and files for sole or even joint physical custody and asks you for cs!

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:11 AM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • If he's smart he'll fork over his right to her. I doubt he wants all the juicy past to surface.

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 10:52 AM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • If it were me, I'd let them play in the living room and probably bake in the kitchen. This way I'm within hearing distance, but out of the way. My ex gives me terrible anxiety, I wouldn't want to look at him. If the weather is nice, they can play outside and I'd sit on a lawn chair reading a book or magazine.

    As far as rights go, I don't know what state your in. Here if he's on the BC and you have no custody agreement, he has the same rights as you.

    Answer by camiam81 at 12:12 PM on Mar. 12, 2011