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QUESTION about gift for teenager from grandmother (tell her or keep quiet?)

I know this is going to sound ungrateful.... and I really dont mean it to.

My child is the second grandchild, 3 mo. younger than the first, both girls.  Grandmother buys first grandchild VERY expensive gifts all name brand... and the first grandchild loves that... she is VERY into name brand items.  My daughter is not in to the brand names and has a vastly different personal style than the first... but grandma insists on buying her the same gifts.

Last christmas my daughter got the key necklace from Tiffanys... she hates it and never wears it... it simply is not something she thinks is pretty, even though it is from Tiffanys.

Next week is her 16th birthday... she asked for new clothes.  Grandma is insisting she get her jewelry.  I told her about a watch my daughter wanted... but my mil thinks it is too cheap.  She has in her mind that she wants to spend $500.  I saw the type necklace she was looking at and I KNOW my daughter will think it is not attractive and I KNOW she wont wear it.

I hate to see her money go to waste.  I know that it will never get worn.  I know if she spent 2/3 of that on clothes my daughter would be THRILLED.  But mil really wants to give her a keepsake.

what would you do???

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:40 AM on Mar. 12, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (11)
  • Accept the gift graciously, then return it later for something your daughter would really love.

    Answer by mom2aspclboy at 9:41 AM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • I would be honest with her. I am a grandma and I always buy what I think they will like and have no idea they dont like it unless I am told. I would maybe suggest a smaller less expensive keep sake engraved or something that your dd in time will keep to remember grandma by, and then a gift card to her favorite clothing store.

    Answer by gemgem at 9:42 AM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • i agree with gemgem. if she does buy this expensive watch can you return it and use it to buy the clothes she wants?

    Answer by jenn4443 at 9:44 AM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • I think I'd suggest that the Grandma and granddaughter go shopping together and the young person be gently frank about what she likes and doesn't. I see where the grandma is coming from, not wanting to seem to slight one child or to favor the other. The granddaughter could say something such as this is really what I like, and if you want to spend more, how about putting the money in my college fund.

    Answer by Bmat at 9:45 AM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • well the jewelry will be from a jewelry store... so if I return it and get credit my daughter will have to get another bit of jewelry... they wont give me cash if I return it.


    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:46 AM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • I like the idea Bmat had about the shopping trip together! That is what my MIL did with my oldest niece and they had fun doing it! It also gave them time to bond on a newer level, as well as insight into what she is "REALLY" into so that the Gram is more in tune with what the GD may want on future occasions.

    Answer by DSNMomma at 4:01 PM on Mar. 14, 2011

  • Keep them for her, someday she will appreciate it, may be not for their style or value but because her grandmother won't be here and it will be a piece of her and her style and who knows someday she may be thrilled to have a couple of pieces of really fine jewelery.

    Answer by pammomof9 at 6:11 PM on Mar. 14, 2011

  • Wow, please excuse the typos and bad grammar was talking to the 7 yo and trying to type ... did not work out well.

    Answer by pammomof9 at 6:13 PM on Mar. 14, 2011

  • Sounds like my MIL :).

    What needs to be remembered though is that a gift is not something someone has to give , but something someone wants to give and what that person gives is up to them. Just because it isn't something she wants right now doesn't mean that it isn't something she won't prize later on, maybe once grandma is gone.

    My kids accept everything their grandma gives them, even the stuff that makes you scratch your head, it's never not thought out, it's just sometimes her logic is a little off. They know though that she put thought into it and they cherish it, even if they don''t love it.

    Answer by luckysevenwow at 7:18 PM on Mar. 14, 2011

  • hubs convinced her to use the same money to buy a laptop

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:24 AM on Mar. 15, 2011

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