Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Another weekend

Every weekend it seems as if me and SO argue..... this weekend its about me and my ex taking our daughter to get sneakers yesterday. He was paying for them and I wanted to pick them out but he wanted a say as well. I also took him to the bank because he said he would pay half of the ATT bill that was sent to collections and I had to pay it by yesterday to get the settlement offer. I also stopped at the local gas station and got a sandwich, no one else ate but me, I ate it in the car in a hurry.... and my SO is saying me and my ex ate lunch together and it was an afternoon affair of us "hanging out"... is it time to let him go. I mean he is making a huge deal about this when I was nothing but honest about what I was doing and i texted him the whole time. Not to mention that back in november he took his ex to a wedding and lied to me about it, claiming that the girls are nothing but mean to her and they wouldnt be mean if she was with him.... he says that me doing this with my ex yesterday is embarrassing, I said "looking at your friends, knowing they know we were together when you took your ex to a wedding that they all attended is embarrassing" he said, stop bringing up the past.... WTF do I do..... he isnt talking to me, is it time to let go?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:46 AM on Mar. 12, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • I would say let go. If you don't have years invested and no children than let it go. Heck even if you do have all of that let it go. If he can't trust you and you have been honest then time to walk away. I am usually all for working out a relationship but if you can't trust each other then it is time to let go.

    Answer by coala at 9:50 AM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • I can't see any way you can make it work with all that going on. He's not even working with you on anything. He's still hung up on his past. Heck he even dated his ex as recent as November. This guy just isn't into you that much. I'd cut my ties and make it clear. Maybe he's looking for you to kill the relationship and he's too much of a baby to do it himself.

    Answer by chgomom at 9:56 AM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • Maybe he is picking a fight so you will break up with him and he'll go back to her. You never know why men make silly accusations. I'd tell him if he can't trust me then he needs to hit the door. Of course I'm a smarty pants so I'd also tell him that he if keeps accusing me of it I'll go do it.

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:06 AM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • "and my SO is saying me and my ex ate lunch together and it was an afternoon affair of us "hanging out""
    take a look at all the posts accusing men of emotional affairs because they hung out and chatted with a woman.

    then there are lots of responses that a man shouldn't be out hanging out with a woman in the same way.

    So if that's the case for men, then maybe the rule in this case should be the same. Don't go and hang out with the ex without your SO, it is inappropriate and asking for trouble.

    BTW, I don't really feel that you did anything wrong, I just wonder if the responses to you will be the same as it would be for a man in this situation.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:10 AM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • Yep he needs to go for a couple reasons. First off he came into the relationship knowing you had an ex and children. You will always be tied to your ex and believe me if you can get into a car and go get shoes for your kids with your ex thats great. Alot of people cant stomach doing anything even if its for the good of the kids with their ex. He should be praising God thanking him he isnt having to buy those shoes & your ex isnt a deadbeat.
    Second he lied to you and then wants to turn things around on you when he is guilty of more. He wants to control you and the control the relationship the kids have with their father. Maybe you cant see that, but look at it. He has plenty to say about your kids and is jealous of you and their relationship with their dad. Tell him to go with his ex and maybe they can live happily ever after & you will find a grown up to be with.

    Answer by gemgem at 10:11 AM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • Anon- answer #4- I do agree with you on that 100%, the answers probably wouldnt be the same... I tried to explain to him that when he confessed his lies (because he also was facebooking an old f**k buddy saying he missed sex with her, i knew but he couldnt admit it, i saw it with my own two eyes) I didnt leave him, and here I was being honest before I even made any action of getting into the car with my ex and he's acting like this... very frustrating

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:17 AM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • I would step back and see how its okay for him to do it but not okay for you to go somewhere with your ex he should be glad you have a good relationship with your ex the father of your child. I think you should tell him if he cannot deal with you two being adults caring more about your child and getting along to promote this he should kick rocks.


    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 11:23 AM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • sounds like a HUGE double standard
    not a partnership
    his way or the highway
    highway sounds pretty good at this point

    if you are asking like you did, you know your answer
    good luck

    Answer by fiatpax at 12:40 PM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • F##CK HIM!

    Answer by PrincessStacy at 2:24 PM on Mar. 12, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.