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Now ladies be honest with me, am I wrong in thinking this:

My husband needs to be more of a father to his(our) son and daughter. He doesn't do much with tem and he doesn't take them hardly anywhere. Unless I get super angry with him. I'm the one who takes them out, and do things with them.And the funny thing is that they are teens , where as he can do things with them 13 & 15. He saids he's too tired or too busy. I said guess what I'm tired and have things to do myself but I make time fot the kids. I'm only asking to spend a few hours with them ,not all day. But yet he has time and never too tired to play cards with his friends , or go out to get something to eat with his friend from work. every now and then. I just don't get my husband at all. Don't get me wrong I love doing things with my teens , but since the father is with us shouldn't the father be doing things with them as well at least as a family.

 
incarnita

Asked by incarnita at 10:41 AM on Mar. 12, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

Level 14 (1,386 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • THAT'S SO FUNNY, I POSTED A VERRRRY SIMILAR POST IN JANUARY BUT IT WAS ABOUT MY 3 YEAR OLD & MY S/O SAYS THE EXACT SAME THING !

    I AM RIGHT THERE WITH YA...NEED'S TO STEP UP INDEFINETLY !

    IT TAKES TWO...
    ZoeyMariah.

    Answer by ZoeyMariah. at 10:43 AM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • Hearing this makes me appreciate my husband even more. Sometimes I have to guide him in the right direction because he had poor parenting examples in his life but he is always willing to listen. He wants to be a part of his sons and my life as much as possible but it is hard between working 100 hrs a week and trying to work out to stay fit and eat and sleep. Sometimes it's only an hour he gets to spend with us but he sure does try.
    mrs.coop

    Answer by mrs.coop at 11:16 AM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • your right, i have had that problem with my husband too.
    jenn4443

    Answer by jenn4443 at 10:43 AM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • Yes. I believe that is a father's job, especially when it comes to teaching his son, how to be a man, how to fix things, repair things, etc. Everything he does is a potential experience for him to teach his son. On the other hand, when I was a teen, I really didn't do much with my dad, as a girl. It's a great time for him to take them both fishing, camping, etc. I am sure he'd have every bit of fun with them as he does with his friends.
    m-avi

    Answer by m-avi at 10:44 AM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • Youre not wrong. My dh is also tired from work but he doesnt go out with friends when he says he is tired. My two older sons are 17 & 18 and he manages to go out and do things with them, and they are his step kids. He knows their dad didnt step up so he has always made time to do the male bonding thing. Last weekend he and the 17 yr old spent several hours rebuilding sons camaro and going to junk yards and all that. Not my thing ya know?
    I am more in charge of the little kids. DH isnt into family fun centers, going to cheer practice, and all that. I dont expect him to either, he knows he is expected though at every game or competition. God help my husband, I feel for him with our dd though lol. He loves her sooo much and shes so girly, he is trying hard to figure out how to handle her, and shes 6. So yeah, your dh SHOULD be more involved.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 10:45 AM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • I don't think your wrong at all. They both need attention and a relationship with their father. I mean why wouldn't he want to? We (my husband and I) live for our girls. Our whole life is centered around them. I feel terrible for your kids. I guess in the end it is his loss. But your kids will never forgive him and will always remember he wasn't really there.
    Momto2beauties

    Answer by Momto2beauties at 10:53 AM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • Well, I agree he should be doing it. But, sadly, why force it? He should want to spend time with them, not because you got good and pissed and he's doing it out of obligation. That's not fun for the kids or anyone. He'll regret it when they aren't around anymore, and he can't fix it.
    Musicmom80

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 11:02 AM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • Wait, are you talking about MY husband or YOURS? Our kids are 4 and 7 1/2 and his idea of doing things with them is turning on cartoons for the kids and promptly falling asleep. He refuses to take BOTH of them out and about, says it's too hard/stressful. Just makes me want to slap him. I could go on and on but that's the gist of it all.

    Boys are dumb.
    Rosehawk

    Answer by Rosehawk at 11:08 AM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • My dad was like that. He didn't take tie to do things with me, he was always too busy, but he'd always have time for his softball league or bowling league. It used to really hurt my feelings.
    metalhealthmom

    Answer by metalhealthmom at 11:11 AM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • Talk it over and suggest a family day or a day for him and the kids at least once a month, hopefully twice. Give him a list of things he can do with each. They are getting to the ages where they need strong bonds with their parents so they don't go elsewhere for the attention. And I know all about going to guys for the attention I did not get from my father. It could have been so much different. You might even browse a few books on parenting teens in a good bookstore. Do as much as you can to help him without the anger. It will be worth it! GL
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 11:14 AM on Mar. 12, 2011

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