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2 Bumps

Do step moms deserve any respect or should they just know their "place'?

It seems like most moms feel that the step mom is just a second class citizen and that even though it is her home she should just "shut her mouth and mind her business"

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:33 PM on Mar. 12, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (13)
  • If a child is in anyone's home, they are expected to obey the rules- regardless of who is enforcing them.
    ObbyDobbie

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 3:34 PM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • Of course they deserve respect they are helping to raise the child/children
    kylansmommy09

    Answer by kylansmommy09 at 3:36 PM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • I'm sure the mom of the child feels that way because it's hard to be "replaced" and women are extremely territorial and jealous creatures... but everyone deserves respect and as the wife of the daddy, the step mother should have the respect due. If the parents would realize it, they should function as a team instead of as a reason to fight. It's sad because since the adults refuse to be adults, the children usually suffer.
    AAAMama

    Answer by AAAMama at 3:39 PM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • I have just seen on here so many posts that are almost identical. Like, a child is not following a rule of the house. Depending on whether the question is stated as my DD or my SD the answers are sooo different. Like if it is dd , then everyone says discipline you can't let her get away with that. Then, if it is my SD, then the SM gets bashed for not liking the kid, or not being bossy or it's not your child. I just find it interesting how that is.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 3:41 PM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • real mom or step mother still give respect
    My2ButterFlys

    Answer by My2ButterFlys at 3:41 PM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • Being that I am a step mom.. I deserve respect. I have to say though I have a good situation. My SD mother respects me and so does my SD. My SD thinks of me as another parent. My husband and I explain to her that she is a special girl because she has 2 mommies that love her so much.
    annabelle092810

    Answer by annabelle092810 at 3:42 PM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • annabelle that is how it should be. If more bio parents did that for the step parent from the get go the entire family would benefit. I am a step mom and a bm, my dd has a step mom also. My ex, my dd's step mom and I all get alone. I ALWAYS told my dd to follow their rules and respect SM. She would get so mad at me but I wanted her to know that we were still her parents and expect respect. SD's BM did not she did the opposite she was one of those "she's not your mother, you don't have to listen to her" moms and it has always been a bad situation. It's too bad that DH and BM didn't understand the importance of showing a united front as parents, if so it would have been such a better life for all
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 3:48 PM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • I think coming into a relationship where kids are already in place a couple should have "ground rules" for punishment and make house rules known to the kids so there is no issue or question. I have dealt with some pretty crappy step moms and one of my largest complaints has more to do with them trying to tell me how to parent my child or tell me what to do. I think if there is a problem its something both bio parents have to talk about, not steps. My dh is a step to my kids & knew coming in their had a dad, and when possible me and dad would talk about kids issues, first.
    The other big issue I have had is one of them actually tried to replace me lol, that didnt fly. Again though if th couple has ground rules going in I dont think itd be a problem.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 4:05 PM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • As someone with both an amazing mom and an amazing stepmom who's been in my life for about 13 years now, here's my opinion: When a potential step parent first comes into a child's life they should know their place. It's not up to this person to discipline the child or have any part in raising them. Only once the relationship between the potential step parent and the child's parent has reached a point of marriage, and even much beyond that, can the step parent really have any input in how the kid is raised.
    AdensMama0308

    Answer by AdensMama0308 at 4:08 PM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • That is true. I've noticed that too... Not personally but on tv, friends etc. I think if she's a mom herself and has good standards for the step child she is allowed to disipline.
    ashleyxo8

    Answer by ashleyxo8 at 4:27 PM on Mar. 12, 2011

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