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2 Bumps

How does he do it!?!?

okay so my hubby lost his older brother who he was super close to would talk to everyday he was 30 he passed away in his sleep, his younger sister who he was super close to also would talk to everyday she was 24 she passed away from flu n some other thing she was hospitalize n was only alive by the machines, n his neice he practically raised till she was about 5 she was 8 n died from cancer :(.... all in one year.. i am one of six in my fam me n my 2 younger sisters r really close as close as he was with his sis n brother..i would cry for ever if anything happened to any of them..but he doesnt like talkin about it he keeps it in..he is so strong every once in a while we will talk about them n he'll break down :( i just dont know how he does it..i get that he thinks he has to be strong for me n our 3 kids but is it really good for him to keep it inside??

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mommyof3_21

Asked by mommyof3_21 at 4:43 PM on Mar. 12, 2011 in Relationships

Level 12 (704 Credits)
Answers (4)
  • I think that this is just how some men are...they don't want to look "weak" in the eyes of the people who love him. Men just deal with things differently then women, just let him know that if he ever wants to talk about it that you are there for him. I'm sorry for you and your families loss
    Lucky209

    Answer by Lucky209 at 4:47 PM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • My dhs son died when he was a week old and he rarely if ever talks or even acknowledges it. I think it is just the way some people cope is all. I know I lost my grandma in 2002 and she practically raised me and I dont talk about it either, I just see it this way, shes at peace and in a better place. Maybe he has a view point that helps him get through it most of the time too.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 4:47 PM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • So sorry to hear of all your family's loss. We all deal with grief in our own way. Just because he isn't dealing with the way you would doesn't make it wrong.

    We never know what we can handle until we are faced with it. There is a strength hidden until we need it. It takes its toll though. Time helps I won't say it heals completely.
    Nonoluna

    Answer by Nonoluna at 4:51 PM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • You know everyone greeves differently and alot of men my nature don't cry they keep it all bottled up. When my brother died at 45 me him and my younger brother were all three close talked on the phone visited each other gave birthday parties for each other etc, but when he died I cried upfront but my other brother never cracked a tear even at the funeral. When they pulled the plug on my brother in the hospital we were all there but this brother left the room until this day and its been 6 years now, I have never seen him or any of my other brother cry but I know they do when they are alone and yes they want to show them selves as being strong even though they are dying inside. Just be there for him and when he's ready if he is ever ready he will talk...what a sorry situation loosing 3 close family members in on year. my heart goes out to him.
    dusty1962

    Answer by dusty1962 at 8:36 PM on Mar. 13, 2011

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