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Marriage trouble?

Kinda long.

My hubby and I had just had a huge fight and he left. The thing is I don't think I'm wrong. We were at the grocery trying to decide if we should but this particular car seat. I want to because I think out 3 yr old has outgrown his. He doesn't want to. He works and I stay at home so its always his money. I hat having to argue about things for our son, that he doesn't think is necessary. Anyway he brought up his brother's children and I just said I don't agree with everything they do as parents. He got all mad about it. He insults and picks on my family all the time, the one time I say something about his, he gets mad. He proceeded to raise his voice at me on the way to the resturant and our 3 year old starting mimicking him. So I told him not to talk to me like that in front the child. My son then started to shout at me and told me that he and daddy are mad at me and they are not going to talk to me. I started to cry because it was bad nearing my son act out his father's jackass behavior. He then drops us home and says he's going out, doesn't tell me where or when he'll be back, just leaves his son and me alone. What do you think about that?

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gutterflower585

Asked by gutterflower585 at 7:07 PM on Mar. 12, 2011 in Relationships

Level 17 (3,406 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • I wouldn't stay in that kind of environment - it's not healthy for you or your son. Good luck (c:
    scout_mom

    Answer by scout_mom at 7:11 PM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • I think he sounds like my ***EX*** husband.
    ObbyDobbie

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 7:12 PM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • I'd grow a pair of steel balls and tell him he's an idiot. Seriously, you have a job staying home. So he brings home the money, you should be able to spend it especially on your child. His yelling at you in front of the child is shameful and he needs to know this. Goes w/o saying it's a bad example. Let him go out, he's acting like an ass so why be around him. Let some time pass, sit his butt down and tell him you don't appreciate his actions nor his control over the purse strings. Tell him he picks on your family and you let it slide. He's being a hypocrite.
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 7:13 PM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • I'd be pissed and thinking of what my next plan & move will be, thats not fair or healthy for you & baby.
    sarasmommy777

    Answer by sarasmommy777 at 7:14 PM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • UMMM that is NOT ok for him to act like that infront of your child.... I think your right
    kylansmommy09

    Answer by kylansmommy09 at 7:15 PM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • First ((((HUGS)))) I have been where you are and this is why I went back to school and got a job. Its hard when its not your money I would sit down and ask him what he thinks is going to happen. Tell him you think the way he talks to you is wrong. I would also sit down and ask yourself is it worth it to hear him talk to you like this.
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 7:17 PM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • His behavior is obviously affecting your son. Children love mimicking and he's getting a good example of how to talk to his mother (by him expressing his fathers thoughts) and it's not a good place to be. First, let you man cool down. He wants to be an ass and be all mad cause you stated once that you didn't agree about parenting choices...parenting is an individual way of raising a child, so what you don't think his family walks on water?! He'll get over it. The thing though is that there needs to be a cool down time for both of you. There needs to come a time, tomorrow, in a day or so, or even in a week, but you NEED to talk to him about how his actions in front of your child is reflecting through your child and that it needs to stop. If he can't accept that you two are a team and that his money is both of your money then you need to find out if he feels resentful that you are a stay at home mom, it may just be a faze he...
    AWomansMind

    Answer by AWomansMind at 7:19 PM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • is going through or he may actually be resentful that you are not working and he is supporting you all, some men are like that. So, sit down with him and talk with him about the WHOLE situation. Get his insight.
    But, yeah....be mad, for now! You have EVERY right considering the way he came across and introduced the ignorant actions to your son!
    AWomansMind

    Answer by AWomansMind at 7:20 PM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • My ex dh was that way and when I saw my sons being affected by it I made the choice to leave. It took awhile since ex didnt accept it and was abusive but I got outta there. I also got onto my sons before their dad finally got the message and told them if I ever heard them talk to me or any woman or girl like that again I would slap their faces. Mind you, I have NEVER EVER spanked or slapped my kids so they knew it was pretty bad for me to even threaten it.
    You son is learning from him how to be a man. If youre cool with him learning to be a jackass as you put it then stay. If not, leave.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 7:20 PM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • I think there are A LOT of issues going on in your relationship that are not healthy! If you won't address them for yourself, do it for your son, otherwise, he's going to repeat the unhealthy relationship example you and your husband are setting for him.

    And if your husband won't go to counseling with you or work at changing his behavior, then I do not see why you and your son should continue to live like this. I would leave and divorce someone who tried to control me, insult me, and make me feel like a second class citizen!!
    LoriKeet

    Answer by LoriKeet at 7:22 PM on Mar. 12, 2011

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