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2 Bumps

NO sex drive? adult content

I've never really felt sexy or had urges to have sex, but after I had my son in october my sex drive completely disappeared; and i dont know what to do. My poor husband doesnt deserve this, but it feels like a chore now. has this happened to anyone else? any suggestions on what to do?

Answer Question

Asked by jnhill at 8:32 PM on Mar. 12, 2011 in Relationships

Level 5 (82 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • I'm the same way. Wish I had the answer for you but I don't.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:35 PM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • I think it's more common than people would suspect.

    Answer by AAAMama at 8:38 PM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • I have the same prob i have no solutions and I would like to kno how to solve it if anyone has any answers too

    Answer by MOM2DYLnHAYLEE at 8:39 PM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • I completely understand. I hardly have it. Have you tried foreplay. Lots of it. Candles, music, a little wine. It helps me to unwind and then its good.

    Answer by gutterflower585 at 8:55 PM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • This is pretty common. I'd talk to the doc if I was bothered by it. It could be a sign of PPD or something, or your hormones could be out of whack. Hope you can get it resolved quickly!

    Answer by lovingmy4babies at 9:05 PM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • You aren't alone as you can see. I had my 3rd baby by C-section in October as well and I have no sex drive as well. I haven't even attempted to try to have sex because of it. I am 39 and breastfeeding too so with all of that and being afraid to get pregnant makes it even harder to even want to. My DH is being as patient as he can but I know he's frustrated too. When I had my 1st two boys that I also breastfed I didn't have this problem and it's hard not knowing when I will feel somewhat normal again...

    Answer by Congenial at 9:06 PM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • If you just go ahead and do it, do you usually get aroused and have fun? If so, I would say "fake it til you make it". As in, behave as if you are interested, and try to have fun with it. If sex just isn't that pleasurable to you, I would try to work out that issue out, for sure!

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 9:12 PM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • That's how I feel now. I started feeling that way after I had my second baby almost 2 years ago. We are trying to find fun ways to be intimate. Sorry I'm not that much help.

    Answer by tnvplus2 at 10:53 PM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • This problem could be related to your nutrition. Increasing food-based sources of zinc, magnesium, calcium, iron, all B vitamins including choline and inositol, vitamin C, arginine and Omega 3 and 6 essential fatty acids will help support your nervous and vascular systems, which are the systems that control sex drive and sexual response. Managing your stress is also important, as the neurotransmitters that regulate the body's stress response are the same neurotransmitters that regulate sex drive, and the body will react to stress before it will react sexually. Food sources include whole grains, dark green leafy vegetables, sweet peppers, sweet potatoes, molasses, nuts, seeds, peanut butter, tuna, salmon, eggs, yogurt, dried fruits, dark purple fruits, tomatoes, avocadoes.

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 9:26 AM on Mar. 13, 2011

  • The only advice I can give to you is even though it may be a chore for you to have sex with your husband "CONTINUE' to have sex with him or take the chance of him getting it else where. Men are physical animals and they need sex and if you as his wife are not giving it to him, gives him the excuse to go out and get it and he will say that if you would have given it to him he wouldn't of went elsewhere.
    It's a wifes duty, I sometimes don't want to have sex either but my husband doesn't know that i try to keep him pleased and I also pray he hurry's up and get's his.
    It's hard but ask yourself is your marriage worth the risk

    Answer by dusty1962 at 7:54 PM on Mar. 13, 2011

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