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4 Bumps

So if my kid's peditrician thinks its ok... why does she have to make it a problem.

I am talking about my best friend and my kid's sleep schedule ...

My friend and I have been friends for over 10 years, we got married at the same time, had kids at the same time ( we both have 2 year olds and 4 year olds ) , we are very alike... but since our kids have been getting older we have kind of been "disconnecting" ... I think I am a great mom, but it is like in her eyes, nothing I can do is right....

I mean there are times, were she has said things like " we are so alike with raising our kids, that it has made us stronger" , and that I am " the only person she would ever leave her kids with" ( she has asked my husband and I to be their God parents, and I am the only other person besides her mom who has ever babysat her kids) ...


So right, we are annoyed at each other .... She thinks my kid's sleep schedule is crazy and that I am not "doing right" by letting them sleep so much ... I have asked my kid's peditrician and he said some kids just sleep alot and that it is fine...

My youngest child ( 2 y/o) goes to bed around 7:30 pm and wont wake up until atleast 8:30 or 9 ... sometimes he will even fall asleep at 7:00 and a few times a little before that, and even then he will not wake up until 8:30- 9 ...
My oldest goes to bed at 8:30 and will not get up before 10 ...

They have pretty much always been like this, even when they use to take naps during the day ( they dont now) they would still keep with the same sleeping times....

I honestly feel like she is a little annoyed because her kids will not go to sleep until late ( sometimes 11 pm) and they will still wake up by 6:30 am ...

I think this is a stupid reason for us to be annoyed at each other ( i am annoyed sinceshe has an attitude about something so petty) ...

Is this really something to cause a stir in our usually strong friendship ?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:05 PM on Mar. 12, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Answers (16)
  • No, and in fact, it's none of her business when your kids go to bed or get up in the morning. To be honest, it sounds like you're the one with better parenting skills when it comes to bedtime, 730-8 is a good time for kids to be put down for bed, especially at that age, NOT 11 at night. I wouldn't talk to her about your parenting skills and if she brings it up, anything to do with parenting, I would change the subject. Also, I would let her know a childs bed time shouldn't come in between a friendship.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:09 PM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • It really is silly, but some people can;t see anything beyond their way of doing things. It's unfortunate that this comes between friends but to be honest I think you have a much better sleep schedule for your children then she does. Children need their sleep and alot of it, and mommy needs down time to relax without screaming children running around. Stick to your guns you don't have to do it her way, your doing fine. I would just say I appreciate your opinion and love you for trying to help but I'm not going to change the way they are and my doc agrees with me.
    Finkette

    Answer by Finkette at 9:10 PM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • Sounds like my kid. My son goes to bed at 7:30 and sleeps to anywhere from 7 til 9.
    SouthernMama08

    Answer by SouthernMama08 at 9:13 PM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • Hmmm maybe she is jealous because her kids are not as good of sleepers as yours are. I would gently remind her that EACH child is different and they each have their own sleep patterns/schedules. I would also remind her that you discussed the matter with the pediatrician and she was not concerned- in fact she said that some kids just need more sleep.

    My oldest son is a sleeper-- he will sleep for a good 10-12 hrs if I let him. Even as a baby I would put him down at night and he would sleep 10-12 hrs. It was great! (my mom says I was that way as well). My middle son was the total opposite-- he was NOT a good sleeper at night - he did not sleep thru the night till he was almost a year old and then no matter when he was put to bed he was up at 6am! My youngest is a cross between the 2- he sleeps good at night but is up by 7am.
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 9:15 PM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • Nope...it is jealousy I'm sure. Little kids need different amounts of sleep.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 9:15 PM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • I have family members like this. I just stopped caring about how they saw me so they no longer had any power. I wasn't any fun for them when they couldn't make be be so nice I was uncomfortable, or worry they didn't like me, be nice for a second then rude again just to mess with me. I realized the judging would never stop, so I stopped caring. then it just didn't matter anymore. I don't have to explain myself to anyone, at any time. Including, how I parent MY children.
    Musicmom80

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 9:18 PM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • No. Actually HER kids probably aren't getting enough sleep. 11pm? That's crazy. My kids go to bed at 8. Sometimes 730 and are up between 7 and 730 in the morning. This is both my 3 year old and my 6 year old. And it really shouldn't be her concern at how early or late your kids go to bed or how early or late they get up.
    huntin_mama

    Answer by huntin_mama at 9:29 PM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • Most young kids need between ten and twelve hours of sleep to recharge. And that is not including naps.
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 9:41 PM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • I have had people tell me that my kids aren't getting enough sleep and they will do bad in school yada yada yada! My two older kids go to sleep at 10 on weekdays andmy youngest goes to sleep at 9. My oldest gets up at 6 for school, and the other two get up at 6:45 am for school. They are all honor roll students and the pedi said they are fine. That's 8 hours for my oldest, 8 hours and 45 minutes for my middle son, and 9 hours and 45 minutes for my youngest son. They have been on that schedule for a while now and if i were to see problems with that, i would change it. When my kids sleep too much, they are aggravated and irritable.
    staceysgorbach

    Answer by staceysgorbach at 11:26 PM on Mar. 12, 2011

  • just how your two kids are different..you to guys parent diferent if the profesionals think its ok then its ok
    kiya_ma

    Answer by kiya_ma at 11:34 PM on Mar. 12, 2011

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