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3 Bumps

Why do people judge women that are not married when they have children?


Asked by survivormama10 at 12:42 AM on Mar. 13, 2011 in Relationships

Level 10 (492 Credits)
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Answers (26)
  • Because they think of themselves as perfect- that's why they judge. It's hard for close-minded sanctimoniousassholes to not view things as black and white. Not all single parents chose to be that way and not all of them did it on purpose to collect feebies from hard working people. I myself was date raped, had no choice but to be a single parent, worked 40 hours a week AND collected food stamps and medical aid. I was far from lazy. Sometimes things are not what they seem and for people to make snap judgements and to pigeon hole people is cruel and ignorant.


    Answer by IhartU at 7:20 AM on Mar. 13, 2011

  • Whether or not I make judgements depends on the situation.

    Some people just aren't married when they get pregnant. Oops. It happens. Some couples plan it that way. Whatever.

    The only time I take issue with it is when an unmarried SINGLE woman INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant. I feel that a child needs two parents, and choosing to bring a child into a situation where that isn't the case is selfish. I feel that for a single woman wanting a child, it would be better to adopt - because, face it, ONE parent is still better than NO parents.

    Go ahead, vote me down - but that's my opinion.

    Answer by DusterMommy at 1:05 AM on Mar. 13, 2011

  • Vbruno... I am a single mother. I am NOT using the "system." I support myself and my son without welfare or medicaid. I did not CHOOSE to have a child without a father, but that is how the situation ended up. Forgive me for not staying in a relationship where I was treated horribly. I did NOT have a baby, because I was craving attention. You need to get off your high horse....

    Answer by EverydayMomma at 12:55 AM on Mar. 13, 2011

  • Not to mention, just because the parents are married doesn't mean they aren't together or that the child doesn't have two parents.

    And as for my answer to the original question...they do it because they're judgmental (obviously) and a little too old-fashioned regarding that, if you ask me. I wanted to be married before I had a baby, and I was. It was important to ME, but that doesn't mean I think that two people are automatically bad parents just because they aren't married.

    Answer by LovingSAHMommy at 12:57 AM on Mar. 13, 2011

  • I think people pass judgments when they are unhappy with their own lives.

    Answer by EverydayMomma at 1:00 AM on Mar. 13, 2011

  • Vbruno- really now?! I'll have you know that I'm not a single mom, but my fiancee and I had our child out of wedlock. We have NEVER been on any type of public assistance. We make more money than most people that double our ages. Thankfully, we are responsible, successful people. Even if that weren't the case, how is it any of your d@mn business..?

    Answer by Raccoon at 12:57 AM on Mar. 13, 2011

  • my x landlord is an old fashion kind of guy ( found out later ) but i remember when me and dh looked at his apt he was irrated that my dd was not my husbands, he asked if i was married to her father i said no and he gave me this look this un happy look, little did i know then he was a lil disusted that i was unwed and then didnt marry her father and i thought wow im happy i didnt marry him lol. anyways i was a single mom i busted my butt and wasent on assitence i paid for everything and did everything with lil help from her bio father, and found a wonderful man married and bought a house, not all single women are on PA. and not all use the system. some do but not all. just cause someone is single with a child dosent make them a bad person..nor do they choose to do it on there own 1/2 the time. its the men 1/2 the time that decided they dont want to grow up and have a resposibility.

    Answer by tabbys4 at 1:22 AM on Mar. 13, 2011

  • I agree with DusterMommy.

    NotPanking, my view on children born into single parent homes has absolutely nothing to do with sex before marriage. It has to do with making the best effort possible, to give your child a good start in life. There are lots of exceptions & there are no hard & fast rules as to what's right & wrong. But, there are A LOT of options for the majoirty of people to avoid becoming single parents.

    Answer by BubbaLuva at 10:12 AM on Mar. 13, 2011

  • who knows...

    Answer by Soniam301 at 12:44 AM on Mar. 13, 2011

  • in our society we are raised to believe its not right. and people like to judge others.

    Answer by proudmom611 at 12:47 AM on Mar. 13, 2011