i clearly don't know how to ask my husband to help me improve our relationship without being met with "it's all my fault" or "what did i do or not do now?" "you're right and i can't can't do anything right"
i really want to have a talk about our relationship and how i feel like we really don't have one lately. it's really bothering me because i don't want either of us to lose that loving feeling. ya know? i feel absolutely ZERO romance coming from him. if i make an effort to look nice, he doesn't notice until i ask him if he likes my new outfit or something and he never tells me i look nice or pretty or anything anymore. my love language is words of affirmation and acts of kindness. and it's like whenever i point that out to him, he gets all stubborn and basically refuses to give me what i need to be happy and secure in our relationship.
how do i talk to him about this without making it sound like he can't do anything right?? it's so important to me that we fix this now. i don't think it's good that we've only been married 2 years and 9 months and i'm feeling hardly any love from him :( and we don't have any kids, so there's nothing taking up our time except his stupid computer game, world of war craft.
Answer by older at 9:28 AM on Mar. 13, 2011
Answer by jenn4443 at 9:40 AM on Mar. 13, 2011
Answer by elizabr at 9:45 AM on Mar. 13, 2011
Answer by Raine2001 at 10:05 AM on Mar. 13, 2011
Answer by smiley745 at 10:30 AM on Mar. 13, 2011
Answer by meooma at 11:15 AM on Mar. 13, 2011
Answer by momoftwins250 at 11:52 AM on Mar. 13, 2011
Answer by lovingmy4babies at 12:16 PM on Mar. 13, 2011
Oh Dear :( First and foremost, you sound like a sweetheart and not necessarily the "point the finger at him" type. At this point, everything you may say to him will sound like a accusation. It sounds like he's in a negative place right now. You'll never get through to him for as long as he's in that place. I suggest you and your husband meet with a marriage counselor or your chaplain, if you're religous. Sometimes introducing a third person who is a profesional (marriage counselor) or someone you trust but isn't the next of kin (chaplain) to have you both look at the issue from both sides. Hopefully you both can find a common ground.
Answer by LanaisSky96 at 1:31 PM on Mar. 13, 2011
Answer by lexi8622 at 2:59 PM on Mar. 13, 2011