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How can you get kids under control when they have never been disciplined?

i have 3 kids that i have never whooped or disciplined because i was so afraid of being the "bad guy". they dont listen and talk to me and my partner like we are dogs. its tearing my relationship apart and i feel like im headed for depression. i have been put on medication for my nerves but even that dont seem to help. any advice on where to start please?

Answer Question
 
tearinapart

Asked by tearinapart at 10:57 AM on Mar. 13, 2011 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 2 (6 Credits)
Answers (17)
  • I have never in my life whooped my kids there are other ways you can discipline. You just have to sit down with them and tell them the reign of terror is over and give them house rules, and consequences that will happen for each infraction. We go time out for the small kids, groundings, taking things away and what not.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 10:58 AM on Mar. 13, 2011

  • Start being the bad guy! Can you imagine dealing with the three of them like this in their teenage years???? Get some help and follow thru with it TODAY
    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 10:59 AM on Mar. 13, 2011

  • go back and watch some old reruns for supernanny and follow some of what she is teaching......and displain is good for kids....
    cara124

    Answer by cara124 at 11:00 AM on Mar. 13, 2011

  • honestly... be the bad guy. You dont have to spank them to make them understand.. but show them who is boss and make a point of doing the things they hate. take things away, time out, ignore them when they are in trouble. I wont lie its gonna be hard and they will more than likely say some mean things, but they are seeing how far they can push you and test your nerves, but you have to stand your ground. You both do! Be there for one another and talk things through with one another so you 2 are in an agreement on how things should be handled.
    annabelle092810

    Answer by annabelle092810 at 11:04 AM on Mar. 13, 2011

  • You don't have to whoop them, but you do need to start disciplining  them. There are several ways you can do this. You need to find something that works for you.  Here are some websites that you can look at to get a feel for what you like. 


    http://www.parentmagic.com/


    http://www.rosemond.com/


    http://www.keepkidshealthy.com/parenting_tips/discipline/index.html


    http://www.aacap.org/cs/root/facts_for_families/discipline


    http://www.disciplinehelp.com/parent/


     


     

    layh41407

    Answer by layh41407 at 11:07 AM on Mar. 13, 2011

  • I second what the others have said - you have to be the bad guy once in a while to be a parent. You are doing your children a disservice by not disciplining them. Make a list of rules for your home and consequences for breaking them - and stick to it. It will be really hard on everyone at first because no one in your house is used to it, but it will be worth the work.

    scout_mom

    Answer by scout_mom at 11:13 AM on Mar. 13, 2011

  • I agree. Discipline is guiding them not punishment. They are not born knowing how to behave and do things right. You are a teacher and a loving parent for your whole life. Don't let them down by not guiding them through life.
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 11:26 AM on Mar. 13, 2011

  • There is no need to whoop them, but you need to discipline them and there are MANY techniques that work without spanking. Take everything they own away from them but their bed and clothes, they then earn the items back one by one by being respectful and listening. I don't mean to be rude but, YOU MADE THIS MESS NOW YOU HAVE TO FIX IT. There is no one to blame but you. Look for some parenting classes and take them, they will teach you how to discipline your children without spanking. Get into family counseling because your kids are going to freak when you start disciplining them. Good luck!!!
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 12:21 PM on Mar. 13, 2011

  • I agree that there is not need for whipping. However, you do need to set rules into place. You need to sit them down and tell them what is expected of them and what will happen when they do the things that they are not supposed to be doing. You need to also stick to your guns. If you tell them they will spend the day in their room if they talk back to you, then they truly have to spend the day in their room, no matter how sad you feel about it later. If you do not not stick to the punishment, there will be not reason for them to think twice about it the next time they start to do it. Does that makes sense? Good luck, I know it will be tough, but you do need to set guidelines and rules, they need them.
    Peajewel

    Answer by Peajewel at 1:53 PM on Mar. 13, 2011

  • You have to find what is going to work for your kids, this could mean that you are doing 2 or 3 different things because time out may work for one but not the others. Stick to the rules, threats aren't going to work you have to follow through all the time. It's time to be mom and not their friend.
    tazdvl

    Answer by tazdvl at 6:57 PM on Mar. 13, 2011

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